She shrugged. ‘He’s seen me in a lot worse. And no one else will see them under my coat. I’ll see you later.’
Immy nodded with a frown and then waved her off before returning her attention to the whales.
Alex grabbed her coat and stepped outside into the freezing night before she could change her mind. Snow was falling again and this time it was even beginning to settle slightly. There might even be an inch of it on the pavements and roads the next day. Itmade everything seem brighter, more magical as it sparkled in the moonlight and the golden glow from the streetlights.
What was she thinking? What was she hoping to achieve from going and seeing Quinn tonight? A night of hot passion? No, that wasn’t a good idea. She smiled. It was a bloody brilliant idea. She shook her head. No, she mainly just wanted to know if she and Quinn were going to be OK. That was more important than anything. And then, if he was still willing, maybe she’d get to finish that kiss. If their friendship could survive that incredible kiss earlier that day, then it could probably survive the full monty too.
She walked into Christmas Gardens and straightaway saw there were footprints in the snow coming from Quinn’s cottage heading in the direction she’d just come from, but at the fence they seemed to stop and turn back to the cottage. Had he been coming to see her and changed his mind?
She walked up to the bright red front door and knocked. A few seconds later Quinn answered the door.
‘Alex? What are you doing out there at this time of night?’
‘I needed to see you.’
He took her hand and pulled her inside, closing the door behind her. There was the smell of Christmas in the air, something she knew the elves sprayed around the house ready for when Santa arrived. It smelled of cinnamon and chestnuts roasting and fruity spicy smells. It was delicious. But not half as delicious as theman standing in front of her, in a white t-shirt that showed every glorious muscle on his body.
‘I was going to come and see you too, literally left the house twice and then changed my mind. I wanted to call you but I didn’t know if it was a good time with Immy and Zara there. And I hadn’t heard from you so wondered if you needed some space. I’m so so sorry about earlier,’ Quinn said, raking his hands through his hair.
‘Why? I’m not.’
‘Because you asked for a kiss, not to be mauled like a wild animal devouring its prey.’
‘Oh yes, I’m really upset by the best orgasm I’ve ever had in my life. Absolutely gutted by it.’
‘Wait, what?’
Alex stepped closer. ‘I loved every single moment of our kiss earlier and I don’t regret it, not for a second. Do you?’
‘I… I’ve been feeling horribly guilty that I took it too far.’
‘Well you can stop worrying, you didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do. In fact, one could argue you didn’t go far enough.’
His eyebrows shot up in surprise but he had obviously wanted her earlier, very obviously, so she knew she wasn’t flogging a dead horse here.
‘Quinn, are we OK?’
‘Of course.’
‘No matter what happens we’ll still be friends, right?’
‘Always.’
Her heart was pounding against her chest as she slid her hands round his neck. ‘Then I’d very much like to finish that kiss.’
He stared at her, not making a move although she was pretty sure she could feel his heart roaring away too.
‘I think…’ He swallowed. ‘We should talk about this.’
She took a step back. ‘I don’t. If we talk about it, we’ll both come up with a million reasons why this is a bad idea.’
‘I don’t want to talk you out of this, I want this more than anything, but don’t you think we should talk about why it happened earlier? And how you feel about it happening again in the future. I thought I’d ruined any chance of something serious with you by taking it too far with our first kiss, but you’re here and you want more and I want more too, but I want a hell of a lot more than just one night.’
She let out a soft gasp. Quinn was offering her more, a relationship. She felt simultaneously sick and giddy at the thought. She hadn’t seen that coming. Fear slammed into her so hard it nearly took her breath away and with it came a sudden realisation. This fear she had never really acknowledged was the reason why she had never tried to move on after Liam’s death. She had been in love before and it had hurt every day when Liam had chosen the bottle over them. It had hurt watching their lovely, happy marriage be destroyed and there being nothing she could do to stop it. It had hurt when he was unfaithful and when he was rude and nasty to herbecause the Liam she loved would never have done any of those things. It had been like living with a stranger and she wasn’t sure she wanted to go through that again. And while she knew that Quinn would be very unlikely to become an alcoholic – probably even less likely now that he’d seen the damage that Liam had caused – she still couldn’t face the thought of losing him in any way, of letting herself fall completely and utterly in love with him and for it to come to an end.
‘I’m not brave enough for that.’
He cupped her face. ‘You’re one of the bravest women I know.’
