The ding of the front door had me sitting up, looking inearnest for a man I already told my heart I didn’t care about. Jane stood at the door, searching for me.
“Over here.” I sighed. She followed the broken sound to find me planted in a chair, and I would only get up when necessary.
“Still nothing?” Her eyebrows creased as she sat in the chair beside me.
“Nope.” I set my phone on the coffee table in front of me so I would stop checking it. “Unless you count a few very short ‘sorry can’t, work’ texts, it’s gone completely silent.”
Jane pinched her lips and tipped her head in thought. “He never did anything or said anything to make you think his feelings had changed?”
I gestured toward my phone. “You are welcome to read the texts, but honestly, I can’t think of anything. The last time we were together was Saturday night. It seemed like all the others.”
“What did you guys do?” Jane’s eyes searched through our last few days of texts.
I closed my eyes, preparing to reopen the wound as we hashed out the exchange again. “We walked around shops at The Village.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “We walked under the white twinkle lights, sat by the different fireplaces, and watched the water fountain show.”
“Did he still kiss you and hold your hand?”
“Yep. Literally everything was the same.” I threw my hands in the air. “I can’t figure it out Jane, I’ve tried.”
She handed me my phone and leaned back. “Hm. Does he know how you feel about him?”
“I mean, I thought so.” I stood, no longer able to sit still. “We hadn’t defined ourselves as boyfriend girlfriend or anything, but I thought we were close to it.” I shifted back and forth.
“I mean…maybe it’s all in my head?” I rubbed my forehead, trying to ease the oncoming headache. “Maybe work is taking a lot? It just feels like it is very different.”
Jane stood and walked toward me before pulling me into ahug. She stepped back and put her hands on my shoulders. “So, what are you going to do about it?”
“What do you mean?” I stepped back. “I called and I texted. It feels like the ball is in his court.”
“Emma,” Jane pressed her steepled fingers to her mouth. “What if he got scared that his feelings aren’t reciprocated?”
I raised my brows and shook my head. “I doubt it. Based on the make-out we had Saturday, he knew.”
Jane shook her head. “Not necessarily. Actions and words can mean different things for different people.”
“I don’t know…” My throat tightened. “It feels more like he decided to ghost me, versus telling me ‘we’re going in different directions.’” I used air quotes.
“This is the most you have liked someone in years.” She reached to the box of tissues on the coffee table, handing me a tissue to wipe a tear I couldn’t even feel. “But Em, this guy feels different. You feel different.” She stepped back to look me in the eyes. “Are you sure you are willing to walk away without ever knowing?”
I sighed and shook my head. “What would I do? Even if I wanted to see him, he always came to my house. Other than stalking the gym he goes to, I wouldn’t even know how to find him.” I rubbed my temples. “Which has me wondering if he planned on this all along.”
Jane raised her left brow. “You know where he works. If he is busy, go help him.”
I shook my head. “What if I go and he gets in more trouble with Cole?”
She put her hand on her hip. “Surely Cole isn’t always there.”
I sat back down in my seat, feeling the weight of my true fear. “What if I go and he doesn’t want to see me?” I whispered and looked to the ground. “What if he isn’t busy at work, but no longer wants me?”
Jane snapped her fingers. “Girl, if that’s thecase, then you deserve WAY more than that, but he needs to put on his big boy pants and tell you.”
I rubbed a hand over my lips. “I don’t know that I want him to.” I melted.
Jane kneeled in front of me. “You need to fight for the people you love and the way you deserve to be treated.” She raised my chin. “He is either drowning in work and will be relieved to see you, or he is a jerk and I hope Cole is there and runs him through the wringer.”
I closed my eyes, needing space between myself and the dangerous idea of going to The Brick House to see for myself how things were between us.
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s best to just let it fade and forget. Go back to setting people up. It was far less complicated and painful.”
