Scott: Yes, hopefully on both accounts.
I then texted Marissa, hoping it wouldn’t wake her up, but I also didn’t want to chicken out.
Scott: Would you come to Thanksgiving with me and meet my family this Thursday? If not, can I come wherever you’ll be?
Chapter Twenty-Seven
MARISSA
The couchand I were fighting. I stretched my neck, trying to release the kink. Apparently, I was too old to sleep on it without consequences. My brain was fuzzy as I tried to piece together memories from the night before. I remembered Scott cuddling on the couch. I remembered falling asleep. And I was pretty sure I woke to him rubbing my hair between his fingers and feeling his lips on the back of my neck. I assumed the extra blanket was also Scott’s doing. I grinned as I pictured doing this exact thing with him for years to come. Years. That wiped off my smile in a hurry.
Not days, or even months, but years. I wanted years. I searched for my urge to run, but found it overpowered with my desire to stay. To try.
If I ran, I could lose years of cuddles on the couch and watching Scott bantering with Nan. I would miss the small circles he always rubbed on my back and hand. I would miss the smell of cinnamon and the hope he gave me for a future I wanted to plan for. I stood and stretched and wandered to the kitchen for a drinkof water. I noticed the dishes dried and stacked to the side. I think I was supposed to wash those. Whoops. I heard Nan come into the kitchen behind me.
“Sorry about the dishes.”
“Oh, I didn’t do them. I beat you guys fair and square. Although he may have been distracted watching you sleep.”
“Scott did them?”
“Yep. Then rushed right back to the couch and held you. All night, I might add.”
I felt my cheeks turn red.
“He only left a few hours ago.” Nan leaned against the counter.
I checked my watch. It was almost eight.
“What are you going to do?”
“What do you mean?” I set my cup near the sink.
“I mean, you love that boy.”
“What? I don’t know . . . I mean, maybe?” My heart rejected the words. Yes. I loved him. I knew it with every piece of me.
“Oh honey, you do.” Nan came closer. “What are you going to do about it? Are you going to let your fear push him away? If you are going to pursue it, it’s time to tell him everything.”
“I don’t want to run.” I faced Nan, searching my heart. “Honestly, I want nothing more than to see where this goes.”
Nan grinned and nodded. “It does my heart good to see you happy.”
I gave Nan a side hug. “That’s dramatic. I’ve always been happy.”
“Nah baby, you have always pretended to be happy.” She hugged me back. “This is different.”
I met Nan’s sad eyes. “That’s not true. I've been happy here with you.”
“You have had happy moments, but you have been holding tight to a whole lot of sad. Running away from anyone or anything that reminded you of your parents.”
I flinched. I hadn’t meant to hurt Nan. I was scared. Nan nodded towards the living room couch.
“Let’s have a seat.” I followed her to the couch. She sat with a humph, and I sat next to her and picked up her hand.
“Nan, I’ve always loved you and been grateful you took me in. I didn’t mean to make you think I was unhappy.”
Nan patted the back of my hand. “I know that, but you have also refused to let anyone else in this close. This town, and other boys—especially after what happened with Tyler’s mother. Even your friends . . . you have a hard time letting anyone in.” Nan sighed and looked her age. How hard had it been for her to raise a teenager so late in life?
