He nodded.
“You had a new set of friends, then?” she asked.
“Not really. I preferred to lurk in Evan’s shadows. Given his outrageousness, ’twas best anyway, as he could charm his way out of trouble with the headmaster.”
She laughed.
“I am sure you can understand that I also found the other boys’ friendship lacking, as it was based on my friendship with Evan rather than on my own merit. ’Tis much of the reason I crave anonymity.”
Beth sobered, reaching to squeeze his hand as she nodded.
“Then I found leather work whilst at Oxford, and Evan took over managing my small quarterly allowance from my father, and the rest is history.”
“When did you meet Michael?”
“Also Oxford. He was mayhap even more sheltered than I had been.” He shook his head. “No, he simply had more expectations pressed upon him, given he was heir to a title.”
“Ah, yes. The mantle of responsibility. Yet, you all still had more freedoms than any girls your age.”
“I am sure we did, although I never gave it much thought.”
Her lips twisted.
He took a deep breath. He had considered her suggestion of a catalogue ad nauseam and continued to worry over exposure. Given her elaboration on her reputation, alarm bells were ringing in his head. On the other hand, he was not willing to walk away from Beth. Finally, he’d built a compromise that would give him a modicum of peace of mind and still move forward with creating a sales book.
“Look,” he said, dropping his foot back to the floor and leaning forward. “I told you this so you understand my concerns regarding the catalogue.”
“What?” Beth frowned.
Oh, no. This was going to be more difficult than he’d hoped. “I said I desire you as a model, and I do. However, I want more than one model in the publication, and sketches shall be from the neck down, no faces.”
Beth’s shoulders sagged, and her lips became a moue of hurt.
“I am not willing to have my name known as the creator of these. I’ve gone to great pains to keep the circle of people who know my identity small.” He flung out a hand. “And if someone recognizes you in the sketches…”
He shuddered, unable to voice what might happen.
She may say she does not care, but it would affect her social standing even further, and I know she is hurt when Ton ladies rebuff her.
For himself, it would mean more bullying, this time about products of his imagination and skill. Or possibly worse, the need for Evan to save his reputation, even as a grown man nearing thirty.
He couldn’t bear seeing her hurt or the embarrassment for himself.
“With no faces and different body types, buyers can more easily picture themselves or their partner in the pose.” ’Twas a sound marketing strategy, and he was proud of it, despite having conjured it up as an excuse for keeping Beth’s image obscured.
****
Beth could not focus beyond the word “concerns.” He’d seemed to accept her idea wholeheartedly in the carriage to Peterborough. She’d hoped that signified an openness to her outlook on life, a willingness to ignore society’s decrees, especially as they both lived on the periphery of the aristocracy.
The Ton needed her matchmaking skills to procure and retain servants, tutors, and even advantageous marriages. They needed Robert for his creative leather designs, whether for in their homes or their lovers’. Why should he care if people knew he was the infamous tanner? He should be proud of his ingenuity.
“But I—I—” she started.
It was my idea!
They’re his products.
I asked to be his model, and I’m not certain I can bear him fitting another woman, arranging her for sketches, touching her at all.She started there. “I wanted to be your model. You said the items were made with my figure in mind.”
