Leaning perilously close to the sleeping gentleman, she softly whispered to his dream-self, “Yes, William, I will marry you.”
A large smile spread across Mr. Darcy’s face as he reached up and wrapped her in his arms. “My Elizabeth,” he whispered, pulling her to him and kissing her with such a tenderness that bolts of lightening charged through her.
Her body stiffened in astonishment until the gentle cadence of his lips caressing hers compelled her to relax into his embrace.
She ignored the voice in her mind admonishing her, demanding her to stand and wake Mr. Darcy. She was reveling in the love of this man—the man that she loved in return, but who would never be hers. For this one glorious moment her world was perfect.
His passion increased and she matched him with equal affection. “Elizabeth,” his ragged voice murmured between breaths. “My love,” he said in a hush, his fingers running through her curls until quite suddenly, his eyes opened and he stopped.
“Elizabeth?” He pushed her away and stood, retreating across the room, looking around wildly before realizing his surroundings. “Good heavens, what have I done? Forgive me.” He rapidly ran his hands through his hair and stuttered in agitation. “How could I…? What are you doing in here?”
Lizzy had never been so mortified in her entire life. She covered her mouth with her fingers. “There was lightning and…and…and…I came to check on you and your blanket had fallen, and…and…I was going back to my room, and you called my name…”
“I called your name?”
“Yes,” she said, fidgeting with her hands as tears were fighting to spill forth.
“Did I say anything else?
“I leaned in to hear you and…well…you smiled and…” Here, her voice faltered.
“Pray, do not continue.” He took a deep breath and lowered his head in shame. “I took advantage of you.”
“No, sir. It was… You would not have acted so if you were awake.” She clenched her jaw to fight back the tears. “I, too, have had dreams. Please, no one knows but us. You are engaged to be married, and I am… well, I am to be… It meant nothing. Iknowit meant nothing. Goodnight.”
She walked toward the hallway, attempting to control the sobs welling within her.I cannot cry. This was never meant to happen. I should not have allowed myself to get carried away with hope.She wiped the tears trickling down her cheeks.
“Miss Bennet, please…” he called after her, but she could not stop.Ten more steps and I will be in my room.His room. She straightened her back and kept walking.
“Elizabeth…” His gentle plea stopped her but she did not face him. “I beg you to listen to me.”
“There is nothing you can say that will change our circumstances,” she replied, lowering her head, her voice catching. “Goodnight, Mr. Darcy,” she said as she closed the door behind her, crawled into the massive bed and wept silently into the pillow.
Chapter 20
Elizabeth woketo a fairyland of frosted woods when the moon still hung high in the heavens of a clear cloudless sky. In actuality, she had not awoken at all because she had never slept. Her mind could not cease its ramblings through the events of only hours before, and her lips still burned from the sensation of his kiss.What will he think of me? How will he behave with me when he awakes? I could not stand to see his derision or sympathy.
She looked at her watch on the bed stand.Four o’clock.It had been only a few hours since the events since he had kissed her. Sitting up in bed, Lizzy made a decision. She hastily dressed, grabbed the tartan wool she had discovered, and slipped out the back door hoping to arrive at Pemberley before Mr. Darcy woke.
* * *
Colonel Richard Fitzwilliamrose before the sun, grateful the howling wind had ceased its lamentations. He quickly dressed himself, having no need or use for a valet, and made his way down the stairs to the breakfast room. Knowing Darcy’s staff would have some type of offering ready to fit the early risings of their fastidious master, he grabbed a roll and a cup of coffee and continued to the stables. Today, within the next few hours, he would find Miss Elizabeth Bennet, even if he had to wake up every tenant on the estate to help. He would not allow more time to go by when that helpless woman would be out on her own.I will protect that which my cousin holds dear.
He surprised the stable hands and instructed them to saddle the horses to begin the search again. He prepared for battle the only way he knew how—giving orders to ordinary men who would complete extraordinary tasks when asked.
* * *
Darcy woke laterthan he anticipated. He was normally an early riser but due to the amount of drink he consumed after Miss Elizabeth went back to bed, his body would not assent. His watch said the time was six in the morning, and his head believed it. He berated himself for his blunder the night before.How could I have lost control so easily? How could I, who worked so hard to protect her, have violated her innocence?He dropped his head into his hands and ran his fingers through his hair, all the while worried she would walk into the room at any moment.
But she did not. After a length of time, Darcy made his way to one of the guest rooms to prepare for the day. He paused outside his own room and hearing nothing, continued on, trying desperately to concentrate on how he was going to make the situation comfortable for the both of them.
Completing his toilette, he went back to the sitting room, picked up his book from the night before, and settled in to await the appearance of Miss Elizabeth.
* * *
Richardand the stable hands had been riding for hours. They had ridden up to the northern edge of the estate first, then over to the west. He was beginning to worry, when he decided to check the south-east portion where the woods were dense.I am looking for Don Quixote’s needle in a haystack. There are over six thousand acres of land to cover with more tenants than my mother has gowns. How shall I find her? And where is Darcy?
They continued to ride, pausing frequently to call her name and listen for a response. When he checked his watch at nine o’clock, he determined it was time to turn back and see if there had been any word at the house.Maybe she did stay with a tenant family last night, and they bundled her up in their cart and brought her home first thing this morning. She might now be sitting in the music room listening to my aunt criticize her for scampering about the countryside in a snowstorm!
