“What I meant was yourgallantryhas been evident in many of our dealings and I am grateful that Miss Radcliffe’s heroes have some basis in men that I am familiar with in real life.”
“Then, I thank you for the compliment.” Changing the subject to spare her further embarrassment, he said, “The book you are reading is a gift from my mother. She gave it to me on my tenth birthday and promised that if I read it faithfully, I would discover the secrets of life.”
“What a lovely sentiment. And have you found them?”
“I am afraid not.” He leaned forward, cradling the glass of spirits in his hand and began to rub the edge with his thumb. “In my youth, I mistakenly believed that all answers were easily laid out before those who sought them. As I came into my majority, I realized that life had many secrets, some were easily discovered while others were unwilling to divulge the smallest piece of information about themselves. No,” he said, taking another sip, “I have not discovered life’s secrets.”
Miss Elizabeth pursed her lips. “I believe that often we expect others to fulfill our hopes for us, when in fact, we must look to ourselves for understanding and direction. I pray you find the answers you seek.”
He gazed up at her and held her eyes. “I thank you, Miss Bennet. And when I find the answers, I pray they will be mine to take.”
He could not look away, feeling all the tension between all that was said and unsaid. “Are you warm enough? Shall I add another log?”
“No, thank you,” she said, stumbling over her words before regaining ease in speech. Her playful voice charmed him. “I am quite warm and only require another one of those delicious tea cakes. You are quite the wizard, sir, for procuring these delightful treats.”
He grinned at her compliment and again at their volley, hoping to avoid the true topic. “I am no wizard, madam. Lord Donnelley’s cook was the undercook at Pemberley when I was a child. She knows these are my favorites and sent me home with a tin to share with Georgiana.”
“Then I am sorry there will not be any left for her. Maybe we should save one?” Miss Elizabeth asked, pulling her hand back.
“No, do not trouble yourself. As soon as his cook discovers I ate them all while trapped in the hunting lodge, she will send some post haste to Pemberley. Lord Donnelley stated there are times he only invites me to dine because he is guaranteed his cook will make them.”
They both chuckled before Miss Elizabeth voiced one of the topics which was on both of their minds. “And what, sir, do you propose we do about our situation? I understand how some would view this evening and…well...knowing their suspicions are unfounded, I am at a loss.”
“Iamaware of the implications, and my sole purpose will be to preserve your reputation.” He raised his glass and took a sip of his drink while staring into the fire. “We will say nothing because no one must ever discover we were in this predicament or you would be ruined.”
Miss Elizabeth gasped. “But, Mr. Darcy. Do you think under the circumstances it would be understood there was nothing we could do?”
“Other women have been ruined for far less. This is unpardonable in the eyes of the world, and although my reputation would be intact, yours would be in tatters. I will not allow that.”
He could see the moment the comprehension was made. “What are we to do? You cannot very well sleep in the stables.” Her voice had become small, losing all its bravado from a moment before.
He cleared his throat. “We will do the only thing we can do. You will sleep in my room, and I will sleep here on the couch. When the weather clears, you will begin walking to Pemberley, and I will follow ten minutes later. Then when asked, we can truthfully say I came across you on the path.”
“And what of where I slept?”
“You can truthfully say you slept in an uninhabited building on the estate grounds.” He looked back down at his hands, rubbing his knuckles with his fingers. “Miss Bennet, disguise of every sort is my abhorrence, but in this case, I feel it imperative that an alteration in the facts will be beneficial to your future. I will not put you in jeopardy!”
The vehemence with which he spoke surprised them both and a quiet settled over the room, only interrupted by the crackling of the fire and howling wind. “I thank you, Mr. Darcy. On that note, I believe it is time for me to retire. Goodnight,” she said, gathering up her damp clothes to allow them to drive in the bedroom.
Darcy stood as well. “Goodnight, Miss Bennet. You will find the fire should still be hot, as I put in some large logs which will continue to burn all night. If you are in need of assistance, I will remain here so you can find me.” He gave her a teasing grin as she turned to walk out of the room, wrapped in her blanket with her naked feet and ankles peeking from the bottom. He waited until he heard the door close, then sighed, and sunk down onto his makeshift bed for the evening. Reaching for the decanter to pour another drink, he glumly allowed the words of the Bard to filter through his mind with slight alteration:Tonight is the winter of “my” discontent.
Elizabeth wokewith a start as a bolt of lightning cracked outside her window. It took her a moment to remember where she was. She did not need to look outside to know the storm raged on, and she was preparing to burrow back under the warm covers when she felt drawn to check if Mr. Darcy had indeed remained in the lodge.
Rising, she wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and proceeded down the hallway to the sitting room. There he was, in slumber on the couch, his deep, even breathing attesting to his exhaustion.
The poor man must be cold as the fire has almost died down.Seeing his blanket had fallen to the floor, she picked up the errant cover and proceeded to place it over his form.Such a handsome man. As she started back to bed, she heard him.
“Elizabeth,” he mumbled.
She stopped her forward motion and turned to him, shocked by the familiar address. However, he was still asleep, apparently lost in a dream, and she smiled knowing she was occupying his slumber as he often did in hers.
“Stay.”
Although she knew she should not, she returned to the couch and knelt down to watch him sleep. His face was relaxed and vulnerable, not the usual expression of the serious master of a great estate. She was entranced by the rise and fall of his chest through his open shirt, and once again could not look away as her own breathing increased.Imagine waking every morning to that face, those lips, those arms…She unconsciously reached to smooth the all too familiar errant curl on his brow, then caught herself.This man has made me lose my senses.
She was startled by the sudden movement as Mr. Darcy rolled over onto his side directly facing her. Lizzy held her breath for fear he would wake and discover her in such close proximity. After a moment, he settled and seemingly fell back to sleep. She decided to stop tempting fate and began to rise and return to her chambers.
“I love you.” She stopped. “Marry me.” A soft snore attested to Mr. Darcy’s nocturnal state, and she released the breath she was holding.
