“I didn’t realize you hated me so much.”
“Hey, Eddy. What’s up?” Marissa appeared from behind Bas. She picked up the books he dropped and looked between the two of them. “Did I miss something?” She must have seen the tears that Bas was struggling to hold back because she reached for him. “You okay?”
“Don’t touch him!” Eddy yelled at her.
Marissa flinched.
“Go to the office,” Bas whispered to her. “Ru and Adam are there. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Eddy shoved Bas hard enough to send him stumbling across the hall into the opposite set of lockers. Bas barely caught himself in time to keep from face-planting into the metal doors.
“Don’t talk to her or look at her or even breathe on her, you nasty queer.”
“Eddy, stop!” Marissa grabbed his arm as he lunged forward to kick Bas. Eddy turned, using the interrupted momentum to swing and plant a fist into Marissa’s face. She went down like a stone, and Bas was up and slamming Eddy to the floor before he even realized he’d moved. His fists found Eddy’s face several times, and Eddy kicked out, trying to knock Bas off.
“What’s wrong with you?” Bas screamed at him. “You don’t hit a girl! Ever!” His sight became a spattering of tunnel vision narrowed down to just his brother’s angry face. Bas couldn’t feel the hits Eddy landed in reply until his brother wrapped his hands around his throat and squeezed.
Bas had a moment of panic when his air suddenly stopped and pain flashed through his brain in bright warning signs. Stars exploded around his eyes as he pulled at Eddy’s hands to try to loosen his grip. He struggled, trying to cough, to wriggle out of Eddy’s grasp, anything for another taste of air. He’d never thought Eddy could be that strong. Never thought his little brother would be the end of him.
Someone was screaming. A moment later arms were ripping them apart, restraining him, though Bas could do little more than gasp for breath. His throat hurt and breathing made it burn from the inside. Everyone was talking. Eddy screamed profanities. Bas blinked away spots until he could find Marissa. Was she hurt?
Adam had her sitting up, examining her face. A bright swatch of red was already swelling up. It would be a nasty bruise. He hoped Eddy hadn’t broken her jaw, or Bas would be breaking his. The detective was holding Eddy. Principal O’Brien was saying something, but Bas couldn’t hear anything beyond the blood rushing in his ears. He realized that Ru was the one who held him, arms wrapped around him like a vise, holding him up as well as back. He was whispering instructions on how to breathe.
“Is Marissa okay?” Bas rasped.
“Concentrate on you at the moment, okay? Can you breathe? Does your throat hurt? You were turning purple by the time we got here.” Ru didn’t loosen his grip at all. “Are you willing to walk with me to the nurse’s office?”
“If Marissa comes with me. She can’t be anywhere near him. He hit her, Ru. What has he become? He tried to kill me.”Twice.Bas thought bitterly of Eddy’s admission that he’d been in that bathroom a year ago watching two football players rape and try to kill him.
Adam helped Marissa up, responding to some signal from Ru that Bas couldn’t see. They made their way toward the nurse’s office. Bas’s heart still hammered in his chest. He stumbled his way down to the hall, vision fading in and out. By the time he could collapse into one of the tiny cots, he was wheezing for every tiny bit of air he could find.
“It’s bad. We should take him to the hospital,” Adam said somewhere close by.
“Your dad’s on the way,” Ru told him. “I think you’re going to miss your test.”
“I’ll make it up, do extra credit or whatever. I don’t care.” Adam was suddenly closer. Bas couldn’t focus on him because his vision was still wonky. “Stay with us, okay?”
“Stay calm and keep breathing, Bas,” Ru told him.
“Marissa?” Bas croaked.
“I’m here. Don’t worry.” She sat on the other side of the bed. “Do like Ru says and keep calm, okay?” He blinked, thinking he’d just close his eyes for a second.
He must have lost time, because the next time he opened his eyes he was in an ambulance with a paramedic hovering over him.
“Hey, Sebastian. We’re taking you to the hospital. Your friends are going to meet us there. I need you to keep calm and breathe for me, okay?”
The plastic mouthpiece forced fresh air into his lungs, and Bas could only nod. It hurt to swallow, it hurt to breathe, and his head danced in swirls that he was sure was due to lack of oxygen. He decided if he was ever going to try to kill himself again, it wouldn’t be by asphyxiation, as the whole lack of air thing really sucked. He sucked in a deep breath and berated himself for the thought at all.
There would be no next time. He wasn’t going to try again. It would only hurt the people who cared about him and end any chance he had of life getting better. But really, how many high school kids got taken to the hospital from school grounds in an ambulance once? And this was hissecondtime. Could he be any more of a loser? Attacked by his little brother who hated him so much he wanted him dead.
God, he hated his life.
Bas stared at the medic, happy that his vision was a little more stable. The man was hot—dark hair, trimmed facial hair, strong shoulders. He kept reading Bas’s pulse and checking the air.Focus on the positive, Bas told himself,don’t let the despair get a hold of you. Though, sadly, he was pretty sure it had already dug its nasty, dark nails deep into him.
“You’re doing great, Sebastian.”
“You’re hot,” Bas whispered to him.
The man laughed.
“Seen porn that starts this way,” Bas told him.
“Yeah? Me too. But let’s get you breathing normal again before the cheesy music queues, okay?”
“’Kay. Thanks for being nice.”
“If you think I’m nice, you need to be around better people.”
Bas couldn’t have agreed more.
