Her assessment burns. I’m not sure what good beauty would have done for me anyway, but it was my only asset and I lost it through no fault of my own. I open my eyes. The queen plucks a small pot off the table next to her, and adjusts my face again.
“This will help cover the scars.” She dots cool cream on my face and gently blends it across my skin. It feels strange. Cosmetics are a whorish affectation, but when the queen holds up a hand mirror for me to inspect her work, I cannot deny my relief. I look like my old self for the first time in more than a year. Better than my old self. I can’t tear my gaze away.
“Kai may be more amenable to remembering himself if he isn’t reminded of what happened to you both that day. Keep it,” says the queen. I tuck the tiny pot into my pocket for safekeeping. “I will supply you with better dresses, too.”
“Long-sleeved?” I ask.
She hesitates, then nods as if she had something else in mind but is willing to accommodate my newfound shyness. This will be uncomfortable enough without feeling exposed in the kind of fashionable dress appropriate for court. Hard to believe that there was a time when I wished I could display more of my bosom. I barely remember the girl I was back then.
“What happens if I can’t do it?”
“Then you had better leave the castle,” she says. “Your grandmother, too. Once my son takes the throne, I cannot answer for his temper or his actions. Nor will I be able to protect you from them.”
Alarmed, I stare at her. “Where would we go?”
The queen waves one hand airily. “Wherever you wish. Remaining here would undoubtedly be painful for you. Your grandmother isn’t so young anymore. She raised you. Surely you can find a way to support her in her dotage.” Her leg twitches beneath her brocade skirt. “If you succeed, Gwendolyn, I am prepared to reward you handsomely. I strongly suggest you put your mind to making this endeavor a success. The consequences of failure will not be pleasant.”
My stomach sinks into the bowels of the earth. “What must I do?”
Chapter 5
“She cannot forceyou to seduce him.” Nana paces the living area of our tiny home. She can only take three steps in any direction without hitting the table, one of the mismatched chairs, or the ancient wardrobe that lists against the wall.
“She is the Queen Regent. She can do whatever she wishes, including banishing us if I don’t. Kai won’t stop her.”
A year ago, I could have counted on him to protect me. It pains me deeply to know that he’d probably enjoy seeing me thrown out. Considering how he despises everyone, I can’t fathom how I’m supposed to seduce him, either. The queen was clear that I don’t have to actually sleep with him. She would prefer if I don’t. But if that’s what it takes to get through to Kai and remind him of who he is, that is a sacrifice the queen is willing to have me make.
My virtue is expendable as long as I can remind her son of histrue nature.Forgive me if I am not exactly flattered.
“But why would she ask you to do this?” Nana protests.
“Because she believes I can reach him.” With the cream covering my scars, I feel a degree of confidence I’ve missed for the past year. The white streak in my hair is the only reminder ofeverything I lost. Part of me is conflicted. I miss the person I was at sixteen, nearly seventeen, her heart full of hope and love.
If I can reclaim a part of myself, I might stand a chance of bringing back the old version of Kai, too.
“Can you?” Nana asks skeptically.
“I have to. Iwantto.” If there is any chance of breaking through the coldness that has overtaken my dearest friend, I must try. I can’t bring myself to write him off as lost forever. The queen is right. Something happened to him that day. If I succeed in restoring him to his true self, perhaps the queen would let us marry.
That is what I would request as my reward. For Kai to be given a chance to choose me. I want to pick up the shattered pieces of what we once meant to one another. If he didn’t feel the same way about me as I did him, I could accept it if he only wanted to remain friends, no matter how much it would hurt my heart to stand by and watch him marry another woman.
Yet when I think back on that day, I remember the way he dragged me back to him and asked breathlessly,One kiss? For luck?In trying not to dwell upon the pain of that day, I had locked away the memory that now gives me a thread of hope.
Nana gazes at me with worry etched on her face. “You’re sure about this?”
“Yes.” I embrace her tightly. “Even if I weren’t certain, I don’t have any other choice, but the task is easier because I want to do it.”
“If anyone can reach that boy, Gwen, it’s you.”
I pray she is right.
On the day of my eighteenth birthday, Kai storms across the barbican and through the gate on an enormous black charger, leading a contingent of soldiers whose armor glints in the sun. They sweep through the gate like a surging sea, and all the women rush to the allures on the inner walls to watch.
Including me.
I fill my lungs with air, able to breathe freely for the first time in months. My arms are covered to the wrist in delicate lace that no scullery maid could ever afford. My freshly-washed hair is braided away from my face, and my scars are covered with the cream the queen gave me. I haven’t felt beautiful in so long.
Still, the other women shun me. They don’t know what to make of my changed appearance and improved clothes. I admit I did a poor job of befriending any of them while growing up, for I had Kai and never sought anyone else’s company. After my injuries, no one wanted to be friends with the scarred scullery maid.
