“Let me see that.” Nana examines the cut, deliberately not looking at my face. “You didn’t used to be this jumpy.”
“Kai’s coming back.”
I’m trying to stay numb. Wrap my heart in ice. Not let his cruel words cut me to the quick again. But I have never been very good at shutting Kai out. I feel like those ice knives sliced into my heart and it hasn’t stopped bleeding since.
“That’s what I’ve come to talk with you about.” Nana signs heavily and wraps my hand in a clean rag. “The queen has summoned you.”
The dread that’s been weighing on me since I learned of Kai’s imminent return becomes an anchor dragging me down into heretofore unknown depths of despair.
“Me? Why?”
“The messenger didn’t say.”
“I hope it’s not about him.” We have danced around speaking Kai’s name for months. I avoid it now.
“Can’t be about anything else, can it?” Nana says briskly. “Gwen. Look at me.”
Reluctantly, I raise my head.
“The scars are not that bad. You cannot let one person’s reaction define you.”
“It’s not just one person. It’s everyone.” She knows I cannot stand people’s pity.
Nana has nothing to say to that. “Let’s get you cleaned up. You cannot go before the queen covered in potato shavings.”
Dressed in a clean, modest gown, I make my way through the halls flanked by two towering guards. I feel like a prisoner being marched to her execution.
I keep my gaze fixed on the elaborately patterned carpet. If I remain between the bordered edges I can make my way all the way to the dais without having to lift my head.
But the guards don’t escort me to the throne room. What little serenity I had managed to summon disappears when they bring me to a private antechamber instead.
“Come forward, Gwendolyn.”
I hold back, trying to figure out how to approach and curtsey at the same time. Crawling seems undignified, so I edge forward until I’m within a few feet of the queen before sweeping one foot behind me in an awkward bow.
“Rise, Gwen,” the queen says. “We will not stand on ceremony.”
I gather my shaking legs beneath me and clasp my hands at my waist expectantly.
“Kai is expected to return any day now. You were once close friends. I would like for you to try and remind my son of his true nature,” she says.
My throat constricts. This is worse than I feared, and I was not exactly optimistic about being ordered to appear before my sovereign.
“I fear he has changed irrevocably.” I gulp. “Highness.”
“Have you tried?”
“No.”
“I have. There are moments when I see a flicker of the old Kai, my beloved and only living son.” Her voice is freighted with sorrow. “You will do this for your kingdom. You are not a traitor, are you, Gwendolyn?”
I shake my head.
“Come closer. Let me see your face.”
The last thing I want is for a beautiful queen to examine my ruined looks. I don’t dare disobey a direct command, though. She takes my chin. Light hits my eyelids. I keep them squeezed shut. Her fingertips dance gently over the marks on my cheeks and forehead, lingering on the worst one near my hairline. A thick streak of white has grown there, blinding bright amidst the reddish-brown hue of my chestnut curls.
“Pity. You would have been a great beauty.”
