“Nothing to it,” Darcy replied, waving his hand. “She simply called on Netherfield and spent the day with Emily after I’d gone after Georgiana.”
“She wanted to convince you she would make a fine mother for Emily,” Colonel Fitzwilliam replied confidently. “Not howIwould recommend myself to you, if I wished to convince you to marryme, but then she cannot know you as well as I do.”
Darcy replied cheerfully, “I do not believe that was her primary motivation.”
“Of course it was. And what is her background and connections?” Colonel Fitzwilliam shrugged. “An excellent connection mixing with her impoverished clerical cousin. Or is she the impoverished cousin mixing with her fortunate clerical relation? — I see she is from your manner. So, shall youburden us all with relations beneath our notice otherwise? And a crowd of grasping cousins who hope for a contribution to their purchase of commissions and livings and everything else?”
What did any of that matter in the slightest?
There were reasons to not marry Elizabeth, of course. Chiefly that he had determined to not marry, to show respect to Anne.
But…
He was now here again in Rosings. He was in the place that Anne had grown up, and in a place where he had seen her many times over the first twenty years of her life. When he’d been a young man, he’d thought little of Cousin Anne. And she’d been unhappy then. That had been Lady Catherine’s fault. Anne had often made casual references to things which happened in her childhood, without realizing how enraging they seemed to Darcy.
Little cruelties and humiliations that Lady Catherine had subjected her to.
She had always ensured that they donated a great deal to the orphanage in Derby. He had continued that practice since she died. Anne had identified with sad and unhappy children, and she wanted to see some of those children able to find a piece of joy and happiness.
That had been part of why she’d wished to have a child so much, so that she could raise them so they might be happy while still a child.
As Darcy continued to not reply, Colonel Fitzwilliam added, “I perceive that I have offended you. Let me emphasize, when I refer to a fear of poor connections, I do not speak for myself but chieflyin loco parentis mei.”
The mangling of the Latin phrase drew an annoyed laugh from Darcy. “I never gave your father any indication that I’d let him interfere in my business.”
“You in fact,” Colonel Fitzwilliam replied, “have given him many indications of quite the opposite — have you dropped your fool notion that you cannot marry again because you owe Anne something because you did not love her?”
Darcy grimaced. “She was a kind woman. And she deserved happiness after how she was raised by Lady Catherine, and—”
“You were a good husband. And what is more, faithful. Most wives cannot say so much about their husband. Not in our class. My mother certainly cannot, nor my sister-in-law. Should I ever marry, especially if it is a ‘splendid match’, my wife very possibly will not be able to say so much about me.”
“I live according to my own morals, not those of society around me.”
“But you do hope to marry Miss Bennet?”
Darcy did not reply.
He did. That was the clear and simple motive that had driven him here. And he knew he would ask her, and that he could not resist the desire to do so. But…
Had he not owed Anne more?
“If you donotintend to marry her, I wonder about you.” Colonel Fitzwilliam raised his eyebrows. “Oh, and you ought to be cautious about raising hopes and expectations.”
He had already done that once.
“I assure you, I shall not do that.” He would ask her to marry him. But Darcy also was not sure what she would say.
She was a woman who could, no matter how great the difference in their situations, tell him nay.
Chapter Thirteen
As soon as Mr. Darcy left the parsonage Elizabeth let out a deep breath.
They had met, and while matters had begun exceedingly awkward, by the conclusion of the interview they had become… not quiteeasywith each other. Not in the way they had been before that awful night at the Netherfield ball, but not wholly uneasy.
Elizabeth had in great part expected Darcy to strictly avoid her while in Rosings on his necessary business. He had been grateful about Emily, but she had also once had the presumption to think he might favour her.
And that thought annoyed Elizabeth.Herpresumption. He’d talked about her connections in trade when he said he had no interest in marrying her.
