The course at the center was a twelve-week program with classroom training and weekly field trips to enforce the lessons they were taught. Ultimately, the goal was to prepare the students to live on their own, secure employment, and create space for themselves, all things Celeste was eager to do. She was ready but I was … terrified. In the last months of my father’s life, we discussed Celeste and her future care at length. My dad made me promise I’d always be there for her. This was a commitment I took seriously, and I just couldn’t wrap my head around how to stay true to that promise if Celeste was living anywhere but with me.
“Thank you,” I said.
“For?”
“For tonight. For the decorations and tree. For being kind and listening to me vent. And for all of this.” I slid my hand over his abs. Who still has defined abs after eating dinner and drinking several mugs of hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows?
“I got you something.”
“I hope you’re joking. You’ve already gone above and beyond.”
“Relax, it cost zero dollars. I made a Wordbop for you.”
“What?”
“On my phone there’s a Wordbop puzzle waiting to be solved.” He handed his phone over to me and there it was, the Wordbop app.
“Did you payThe New York Timesto create a puzzle just for me?”
“No, I logged into the simulation app I used during the initial testing.”
“Oh, that actually makes more sense.” Opening the app, a puzzle immediately populated. “This isn’t your standard Wordbop.” Normally Wordbop’s were always one-word puzzles consisting of five letters, but this puzzle had nine letters.
“It’s a special edition puzzle.”
“Can I try solving it now?”
“Please.”
I slowly worked through the puzzle, selecting letters I thought would fit. Wordbop required the player to be strategic because you were only allowed five guesses. Kris sat next to me, silently twiddling his thumbs. As the word slowly filled in, my normally big eyes narrowed, scanning him suspiciously before reading the completed puzzle out loud. “Boyfriend?”
Kris gasped loudly, raising his hand to his mouth. “Oh my God. Belen, do you mean it? You want me to be your boyfriend? It’s all I’ve ever wanted … to be your man. I’m all for women taking the lead and grabbing what they want by the balls.”
I released a chuckle. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
“Any man would be a fool to let you go.”
“Hmm, I know a few Bozos.” I handed him back his phone. “Dating me is complicated. Like I told you, Celeste is my priority. Anything else, anyone else, will always come second.”
“I’m okay with finding a balance as we go. I’m not asking you to put me first. I’m just asking for you to make room for me in your life.”
“You can’t know off of two dates that you want to be exclusive.”
“Don’t you?”
I did know. I knew Kris was special and he made me feel seen in a way I hadn’t in quite some time. I knew he cared, cared about me and Celeste. I knew I trusted him. And I suspected that if I let him, he’d love me in ways I’d only imagined but never actually experienced. Knowing all that, I was still scared,because I’d thought I knew with Aiden. Which is hilarious because looking back now, all Aiden did was show me he didn’t have my back and I was stupid to trust him.
Kris was the anti-Aiden. He was selfless, kind, he actually listened to me, and when it came to sex … Aiden could never. “I’m going to be honest with you Kris. I’m damaged goods. I may look good from afar, but when you get close you can detect all the cracks and flaws.”
“Do I look scared?”
He didn’t. Kris looked like he always did calm, cool, and collected, which immediately made me feel the same.
“What do you want Kris?”
He cupped the sides of my face. “Right now in this moment, I want you.”
“What about all the other moments?”
