‘Dessert?’ asked James two hours later.
‘Delicious as they look,’ Cassie said, ‘I’m going to pass because I’m very, very full already.’ She wasn’tthatfull but she would be if she ate pudding, and a full stomach wouldn’t help if the evening panned out the way she hoped it would. ‘Shall we maybe have our coffees… back at the flat?’
They held hands all the way back, apart from when they stopped a few times for some kissing.
By the time they got inside James’s building and into the lift, Cassie’s ability to think was completely gone. There was something gut-punchingly wonderful about watching themselves kiss in the mirrored walls of the lift, and when she simultaneously watched and felt James’s hands move under her top, it was like she might actually die of lust.
The lift was ancient and slow, and by the time its doors were open, they were both a little dishevelled.
They almost fell out of the lift, laughing, and nearly knocked Anthony over.
‘Well, goodevening.’ Anthony was smiling broadly when James had set him back on his feet. ‘I thought as much but Juliet was having none of it. I’m sorry to steal any thunder you may wish to keep to yourselves for future announcements, but I’m on my way up to see her now, and I shall be reporting this to her in great detail.’
‘Eek.’ Cassie screwed up her face and tried to un-screw up her top. ‘Nothing,really, to report, Anthony.’
‘That’s right. Absolutely.’ James was also making some clothing adjustments. ‘Best regards to Juliet.’
‘I hope you have a lovely evening, Anthony,’ Cassie said.
‘I hopeyouhave a lovely evening, my darlings.’ Anthony did a pantomime wink and Cassie and James both winced.
The corridor was wide and they both kept very carefully to their own side of it as they walked from the lift to the flat. Anthony was up there with a bucket of freezing water in the effective mood-breaker stakes.
‘Coffee?’ James said when they were both in the sitting room, still standing several feet apart from each other.
‘Great!’ Hard to stop yourself being over-exclamatory when you felt awkward. Probably best to address the elephant in the room. One of them, anyway. ‘I’m guessing you might be avoiding Anthony and Juliet for a while.’
‘Yeah. Or maybe not. Maybe better to tackle them head on. Deny everything. I mean, not that there’s anything to deny. Well, there is something.’
Cassie nodded. There was something. And now they were probably going to get onto the bigger elephant.
James took mugs out of the cupboard and began to fill them from his fancy boiling water tap.
‘I told you on Sunday that I love you,’ he said with his back to her. ‘I do love you.’
Cassiereallywished that they’d stayed in the restaurant and had pudding. Being too full for great sex would have been a lot better than bumping into Anthony and ending up having this conversation.
‘We don’t really know each other that well,’ she said.
‘I think we do.’ James turned round to face her. ‘You know, in a kind of quality-not-quantity way.’
Cassie’s breath caught in her throat. The serious look on his face, and his words – had there ever been such a beautiful declaration of love? A love which almost certainly couldn’t go anywhere. Heart-rending.
She had to reply, and she had to be honest with him.
‘I love you too,’ she said, not smiling.
James took their mugs over to the island and sat down on one of the bar stools. Cassie joined him and perched on the other one, careful to sit far enough away that their legs wouldn’t touch.
This was one of those conversations that you never wanted to have, but they were going to have to have it.
‘So obviously I live on the island and you live here,’ Cassie said. ‘And, obviously, we both know that I would love to have a baby and you would not, and so, really, I’d like to thank you for the most amazing weekend and the most amazing day today.’
‘And you’re going to go back home tomorrow and that’s that?’ James was staring at his mug and on about his fiftieth stir of it.
‘Well, I mean, I suppose so.’ Extraordinary to feel so devastated about saying goodbye to someone she’d known for, really, not that long. But, yep, he was right. Quality not quantity. They’d got to know each other very well, in a very unique way, in that short time.
James looked up. ‘I really never thought… I mean, I’ve never felt this way before, and I’ve never believed that I would settle down.’ He let go of his spoon and put his hands flat on the island, one on either side of his mug. ‘That I would want to settle down. Turns out I’d just never met the right person before.’
