‘Cassie. That’s huge. I’m so sorry.’ Should he ask her any questions about it?
‘Thank you. I’m sorry for being drunk on you.’
‘Hey. You haven’t been drunk on me. I mean, a little bit, but my choice. I saw you at the bar and I was worried about you, so I came over to see you. Totally my choice.’
‘Well, hey yourself.’ Cassie nudged him. ‘Very nice of you to be worried about the pain-in-the-arse, nagging house swappee.’
‘Did I say that?’
‘Yes, pretty much, but quite a few weeks ago.’
James nodded. ‘You’ve grown on me since then.’
‘Like fungus?’
‘No. Like something quite nice.’ He thought for a moment. ‘Nope, I can’t describe it.’
‘You’ve grown on me too,’ Cassie said.
‘Well, thank you.’
‘Do you only talk to me because you want to buy my land?’
‘No.’ That answer had required no thought because it was the truth. ‘I admit that initially it was my reason but now I just like talking to you. I know we aren’t going to be doing business and here I am, still talking.’
‘I’m very pleased about that.’
‘Me too.’
They sat and looked at the stars again.
‘Are you going to be okay?’ James had to ask. It didn’t feel right just to abandon the IVF topic, however difficult it was to know what to say. It felt like he’d be belittling her experience if he didn’t show some interest. ‘Are you going to do it again?’ Was that a shockingly insensitive question? ‘Obviously don’t answer that if you’d rather not.’
‘I don’t know. I think so. Probably. I’m thirty-seven. Not a spring chicken. I decided to go it alone because, well, you know, as you do, basically because of a shitty ex. I’d love to have two children. I mean, I’d love to have alotof children, but two would be amazing.Onewould be amazing.’ She sniffed. ‘Sorry.’
‘Hey. Don’t say sorry.’ James wondered if the shitty ex was shittier than Richie from the christening, the sperm-donating father-of-seven. How would Richie react if any of those kids came looking for him when they were eighteen? Having a baby on your own was a big decision. It was hard, too hard for some women, like his own mother. Cassie was strong though. That was obvious. She sniffed again. ‘You’re going to be okay,’ he said, ‘whatever happens.’
‘Thank you.’
He looked down at her. He was pretty sure she was crying. Yes, she was. He put his right arm round her as gently as he could and with his left thumb wiped away the tears he could see. ‘You really will be.’
She gave a big gulping sound and he gathered her against his chest while she cried.
Was it wrong that he was enjoying holding her? Definitely. She wasupset, for God’s sake. He should absolutely not be registering how well she fitted into his arms. He kept his head up, resisting the urge to bury his face in her hair, and looked into the darkness.
‘Oh myGod,’ she said eventually, pulling her head back. ‘Honestly. Truly pathetic. That’s the second time I’ve cried on someone in one day. I bawled all over Dina earlier. And in your case there’s going to be mascara on your shirt.’
‘Not pathetic. Totally understandable.’ He squeezed her shoulders and she looked up at him. She was beautiful in the moonlight.
‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I’m going to apologise one last time.’
‘And I’m going to refuse to accept that apology one last time because you have nothing to apologise for.’
‘Okay. Thank you. I’m not normally this pathetic, honest. It brought back some difficult memories.’
‘I’m so sorry.’ He really didn’t know what else to say. Ask what those memories were? Definitely not. But ignore what she’d just said? No; he couldn’t do that either.
‘I lost a baby a few years ago. I was five months pregnant.’ Her voice wavered.
