“Celine,” she says, her voice gentle.
“No,” I shout, dropping the end of the hose in the tub and standing upright. “We don’t let them win, right? You swore that to me! You fucking promised.” My wings erupt in flames, and I scream at the ceiling, trying to expel my rage before I set off the smoke detector again.
“C-Celine.” The fear in Imani’s voice grounds me. My flames extinguish with a series of cascading sizzle sounds. Without my anger, crushing sadness is all that remains.
Imani didn’t ask to be afraid of water—she needs it to live.That was done to her, against her will, over and over again, poisoning her against the very thing that should bring her the most joy.
The drips fall before I can even attempt to regulate my emotions.
“Your wings are crying, babe.” Imani sniffles, her voice stuffy.
“I know.” I groan, shaking them out as they sag from the weight of the water. Droplets fly everywhere, and Imani takes a step back. I pretend I don’t notice. “I’ll have to mop this shit up later or Luca will murder me,” I say.
“Yeah, right,” she scoffs. “Is it close?”
“It’s getting there.” The big aluminum tub is about halfway full of tepid water. I look up at Imani and smile. “You should come over here and let me know when you think it’s ready.”
It’s a transparent attempt to desensitize her. I’m not an idiot. I know how full the tub needs to be, but I’m not going to shove her in and hold her there until she gets the soak her siren needs. That’s a choice Imani has to make on her own.
She approaches the tub like she’s marching to her execution. It might seem ridiculous to some, but knowing what she’s been through, I find it far more surprising that Imani manages to face the water at all.
“You’re strong,” I remind her.
“No, I’m not.” Imani hangs her head. “If I was strong, I wouldn’t fear a few inches of water in a glorified bucket. If I was strong, I wouldn’t need my best friend to get in the fucking bathtub with me. If I was strong, I would have fought and won, not run away to another realm and moved to the least wet place I could find.” By the time she finishes, her shoulders are heaving, silent sobs racking her body.
I go to her side, grabbing her fisted hands in mine. “Stop it, Imani,” I insist. “Don’t talk about yourself that way or I’ll have to yell at you.”
“You are yelling at me,” she says, smiling through her tears.
“Fuck!” I force my voice to soften. “Is this better?”
“Eh. You’re still yelling; just at a lower volume.”
“Then try to ignore my tone,” I say, letting my magic back out to ensure she knows what I say next is the absolute truth.
“When I look at you, I don’t see someone who ran away. I see someone who forged her own path and created a new life for herself in a place she’d never been before. It took courage to start over here, and it takes courage to soak in this stupid tub, but you will do it, because you’re the strongest person I know.”
Imani wipes a tear from my cheek, her amber eyes glistening with tears of her own. “Okay, okay. I believe you, Celine.” She closes her eyes. When she opens them again, they’re fierce with determination. “Let’s get in this stupid tub, then.”
I nod, reaching over to cut the water off, and step in. Imani follows my lead, flinching when her bare feet and calves disappear beneath the surface. Slowly, I sit, easing myself down so the water rises gradually up her legs instead of all at once. It laps at her knees. They shake. I wait. Imani takes a deep breath, then sinks down to join me, letting the air out of her lungs in one great big puff.
I grab her hands again, locking our fingers together.
“You won’t let anything bad happen?” Imani asks. Her voice is shaky, but the water is doing its job. Color is already returning to her cheeks.
“Never,” I promise. “I figured room temperature water was best.”
She nods, the movement jerky but not panicked.
“You’re doing amazing,” I assure her. “Deep breaths. In and out.”
Imani’s lips twitch. “If you keep talking me through it, I’m going to get the wrong idea,” she teases.
I roll my eyes, then drop until only my head is poking out ofthe water. Imani matches my position, her eyes wide. “Good girl,” I joke. “I knew you could take it all.”
“I’m scared to ask what the hell I walked in on.” Luca’s voice startles us both. “But please don’t stop on my account.”
“Just cooling off,” I say, giving Imani’s hands a reassuring squeeze. “Our rehearsal got sweaty.”
