“Do you think we can get a ride from one of you?” Finn asks.
“I wish I could help ya, but I’ve got three more calls that need attention. The driver has a double cab. I bet he’d be willing to take you.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“He’s headed back this way to get your information. He should be here in a few minutes. You all take care and stay warm.” He tips his hat and goes back to his car.
The driver knocks on the door a few minutes later and agrees to drive us to a hotel near the service station.
Everyone is exhausted and quiet the whole ride back. I sit in the back with Ernesto and Kel. Finn takes the front with the driver.
An hour or so later, we arrive at a hotel. We’re thankful they have rooms for us. Ernesto and Kel agree to share a room. I glance over to Finn and he requests two additional rooms. I was stupid to think there would be a chance in hell he’d ever want to stay with me.
As I’m getting my key, I notice Finn on his phone. I can’t hear what he’s saying and I wonder who he’s speaking with. His face is intensely focused. Maybe it’s work.
We slowly trudge down the hall to our rooms. It’s almost one a.m., and everyone looks it.
“I called the airline,” Finn announces. “It looks like the first flight out of here with available seats is at ten a.m. I’m planning to be on it. If you all want to join me, I suggest you call the airline.”
“Thanks, man,” Kel says.
“Thank you, Finn,” I reply.
He nods his head and opens the door to his room across the hall from mine.
I open my door and step inside, immediately glancing back toward him, ready to ask him if we can talk. His door is already closed.
My head falls as I shut my door. I need to talk to him. I know it’s late, but I can’t wait anymore.
I take my key card and make my way across the hall. I take a deep breath and knock on his door. For a second, I don’t think he’s going to answer, but he does.
“Is everything alright?” he asks.
“Can we talk?”
“It’s really late. Can we do this another time?”
“Please?”
He opens his door to me and I step inside, wringing my hands nervously.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt out. “I was wrong to leave you that way.”
He closes his eyes briefly then nods his head. “It’s okay. I understand.”
“You do?” I question.
“I thought I knew you and I was wrong. The fact is, we’re too different to be together. I would have never been able to walk away from you and it was easy for you to leave me.”
I shake my head repeatedly. “No, it wasn’t easy. I just… I can’t explain what I was thinking, but I know it was fucked up. I run away when I should stay. I push people away when I really want to hold them close.”
He scrubs his hand over his face. “I’ve given this a lot of thought. I know I pushed you from the beginning. I pushed too hard. Begging you to ride to work with me was my first mistake. You couldn’t stand me and I wormed my way in. It was wrong of me to think you could ever love me.”
“But… I…” Words escape me. I want to say the words out loud, but I’m scared. “I do… The thing is, I do.”
He huffs. “See, there you go, saying what you think will fix things in the moment. For now. In an hour or maybe a day, you’ll find another reason it can’t work. When I get too close, you’ll shove me away again. You think you want me because of this friendship thing we all have, but the truth is, Liz, you’re one of those people who’s better off alone.”
He walks to the door and turns back to face me. “You don’t need or want me. You’ve never needed me. It’s always beenmethat neededyou. You’re always going to run and I can’t be there waiting for you anymore. I never wanted to change you. I just wanted to be on a road with you, going somewhere. But I can’t fix what’s broken inside you. I can’t take you where you don’t want to go.”
