“What I’m saying is I think they should give us snack options. I mean, carrots are great if you’re a rabbit, but I’m not a freaking rabbit,” Kel announces, crossing his arms.
Emerson rolls her eyes and I laugh.
“You’ll survive without an unhealthy snack, Kel,” she adds.
“No I won’t. I can barely keep my eyes open during this bullshit. I need caffeine or chocolate if they expect me to hear a word they say. I haven’t learned jack shit. I thought I’d walk out of here a different man.”
“They’re not miracle workers,” Emerson says as she files her nails. “You’re only going to get out of it what you put into it.”
Her words ring in my ears. Did I put anything into my relationship with Finn? Was any of it real?
The next session is about to start, so the three of us hurry into the room to find seats. We’ve been moving from place to place together all day, and it’s been so much more enjoyable being with friends. It’s nice to use that word and mean it.
I almost caused a scene in the last session when Emerson compared the trainer to Daffy Duck. She did an impression of his voice, and I almost lost it. It was like being in church with my parents. I wanted to laugh that much more because I couldn’t. She’s not allowed to sit by me anymore.
I search the room. No Ernesto. None of us have seen him all day, and I’m getting worried. I haven’t seen Finn since yesterday, but that’s expected since he’s a trainer, not a trainee. Still, every time I see a suit out of the corner of my eye, I jump. I wonder if it means I want to see him more than I realize.
This is the final scheduled session of the day and then we pick our two electives. There are seven to choose from. I know I definitely want to go to the “How to Listen More Effectively” seminar and the “Building a Team” sounds great as well, but I can’t help but be drawn to Finn. To hear him speak would be amazing. I’ve never seen him in his element and I’m curious how he comes across. I manage to convince myself I need to learn more about marketing and tell myself it’s the real reason I’m even considering it. We said we could be professional. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind my being there. After all, it’s only about work.
During training, I scribble in my blue notebook. I write what I’m feeling now and how I felt seeing Finn again. The session is over quickly, and it’s time to make a decision.
“You’re going?” Emerson asks, mortified.
“I was going to until you put it that way,” I reply.
“Just ignore me. I’m not feeling the best today. Lunch made me sick. If you think his training would help you, then I think you should go.”
I scowl. “Now I’m starting to wonder if it’s a bad idea.”
“What happened between you two anyway?” Kel asks as he grimaces while toying with a celery stick.
“It’s none of our business. I’m sure if they wanted us to know they would have told us. Right?” Emerson asks with uncertainty.
“Right.” I nod.
Kel holds a piece of celery in his hands and uses it as a pointer while he speaks. “I think you two should work it out. When you find the one, you need to fight for them.”
Emerson and I both turn to stare at him in awe. He plugs his nose and takes another bite of the celery.
He sees us glaring. “What? I don’t like how it tastes.”
“That’s not why we’re staring. That was sweet, Kel.” Emerson puts her arms around him and side-squeezes him.
“Am I not supposed to have deep thoughts?”
“I think you should eat celery more often. I like you more.”
“Fuck this shit,” he says, standing and tossing it in the nearest trash can. “I’m going to find a vending machine. I’ll meet you guys there.”
Emerson and I make what seems to be the longest walk of my life to Finn’s room. I peek inside and see him speaking to a guy in the front of the room. My stomach curls.
Spinning around and leaning on the wall by the door, I turn to Emerson. “Maybe thisisa bad idea.”
She shrugs. “I don’t know what happened, so…”
“Just between us?” I ask.
“Yes!” she smiles excitedly. I pull her away from the door.
