I make sure I book the same flight as Finn and I’m at the front desk way too early. I only have one shot at this and I’m not going to blow it.
He’s yawning as he makes his way to the clerk.
“Good morning!” I say, smiling brightly.
He squints and purses his lips. I laugh because I know him. He knows I’m never cheery in the morning and he’s suspicious.
I wink at the front desk clerk and he nods his head to me when Finn isn’t looking.
“Checking out,” Finn says.
“Certainly, sir. Oh, there was a problem with your credit card. Could you come to the back office with me for a moment so we can clear this up?”
“What kind of problem?” he asks.
“Let me show you. Right this way.”
Finn takes the handle of his luggage.
“I’ll watch it. Just go,” I tell him.
He nods and follows the clerk into the back room.
I don’t know how much time I have so I get to work fast. I place Finn’s luggage on the ground and quickly unzip it. I pull my notebook out of my bag and make sure the letter I wrote him is firmly attached to it. I place it on top of one of his dress shirts. I start to zip it, but stop. Unzipping it again, I lift his shirt and smell it, rolling my eyes back in my head. I decide to take it to keep me company in case this plan doesn’t work and I need to think of another one.
I pat my notebook as if I’m burping it, blow it a kiss, and say a quick prayer. Zipping his suitcase and standing it back up, I stuff his shirt into my bag.
I’m a thief, but I don’t care. Hopefully we’ll laugh about it someday.
The clerk and Finn walk back to the counter. I had a minute to spare. He did well. I give him the thumbs-up behind Finn’s back and he smiles.
“What happened?” I feign curiosity, rolling back and forth on my toes.
“They had the wrong number on file. Some kind of system glitch. It’s fine now.”
I nod my head.
Thank God the desk clerk was willing to listen to my story or this plan would have never worked. Now I just need Finn to read. I hope he’s willing to take one more risk.
It’s been two days. Two of the longest days of my life. I haven’t heard a word from Finn and I’m starting to lose hope. Maybe he didn’t read my letter. Maybe he crumpled it up and threw it away, tossing my notebook in the garbage with it.
I tap my foot at my desk nervously. Every time my phone pings with a text, I jump. They’ve all been from Emerson.
She’s been sending me pics of the baby. Julie met her at the hospital the next day as soon as she could get a flight. They kept them both at the hospital to make sure everything was okay. They’re coming home tonight. I’m supposed to go over to see her after work. I can’t wait to see the baby. She won’t tell me her name until we’re face to face. I wonder if Finn will be there.
I stare at the papers on my desk. I’m falling behind because I can’t focus. Centering my phone on a pile, I pull up the picture I took of the letter and read it for the hundredth time. Rereading it is all that’s keeping me sane.
Finn,
I know this is odd, but I’m asking you to take a risk. Please read this! Read the whole letter and the notebook too. You told me that I was one of those people who is better off alone. That’s the furthest thing from the truth. You’re usually brilliant and right on track, but for once I can tell you, you’re wrong.
These pages are filled with every thought I had from the moment I saw you on the side of the road until the last night at the hotel. It’s every feeling I had about you. Everything you did to make me hate you and everything you did to make me love you. I do love you, Finn. I love you more than I was even willing to admit to myself.
If you had asked me a month ago if I needed anyone, I would have said absolutely not and it would have been the truth. But then I met you. You saw through me even when I put up wall after wall to keep you out. You did get me, even better than I got myself. It scared me. I was afraid to let anyone in because every time I had, I ended up hurt. I knew you had the power to destroy me. You’re unlike any man I’ve ever known.
You were patient and kind even when I wasn’t. You made me feel things I’d never felt before. You made me need you and that scared me even more. I do need you, Finn. But I don’t need you to fix me. I fixed myself.
I thought I was happy being alone. I’ve been alone for most of my life. But then I wasn’t, and I didn’t even know what I was missing until you showed me. You took me on a road I didn’t think I belonged on. It turns out I want to be on that road more than anything, as long as it’s with you.
