Onthefifthdayof weirdness, Seth Aarons gave to me ten ignored text messages, five missed phone calls, two almost run-ins, and a visit under a live oak tree.
I had avoided him at all costs. Whatever stomachache he elicited in that bookstore was unpleasant at best and hazardous at worst.
I need to focus on what’s important. There’s still some last-minute planning for the Phi Sigma Lambda Chi Annual Winter Formal to check off, which now includes buying an extra generator, just in case the ever-present flickering lights give out. Damn Texas grid. And I need to write my acceptance speech for when I’m awarded the crown as Queen of Greek Row. A title I’ve worked tirelessly to get.
Thanking my asshole of an ex-boyfriend, Brady, for my current success will be at the top of my spiteful speech since his words got my ass in gear to achieve all this.Look, you’re cute and all, Maddie, but you’re not worth the hassle.
It frustrated me, sure, when Ellie brought him up a few days ago at the bookstore, opening a door I’d much rather keep barred shut. But after tomorrow, there won’t be a door to guard anymore, and I can send it through the wood chipper for the ending it deserves.
Three years ago, when Brady dumped me, I thought his parting words would break me. My doting parents had referred to me as a burden my entire life, so when he reaffirmed my worth, I just… broke. But a week after our break-up, in a milkshake haze at the diner with Jenny, Brady Grey, and his new girlfriend, soon-to-be Queen of Greek Row, Lacey Cane had one more life lesson to pass along.
Where Brady walked with me with his arm slung around my shoulder in a possessive manner, he followed Lacey two steps behind like an obedient puppy. Anything she barked for, he provided. Nothing was too much of a hassle then.
Why?
Because Lacey was worth something with her flawless appearance and social status.
And if I ever wanted to be worth the hassle, I’d have to invest in those things too.
Unfortunately, I needed to cut something out of my life.
Someone whom I loved more than life itself.
And was blowing bubbles into her milkshake.
Jenny had to go. She was quirky, awkward, and ignorant about the things that mattered, and I couldn’t afford to drag any deadweight along with me for my climb to the top.
I don’t care if Seth thinks it was cruel. Sometimes we must lose to gain.
And now I’m a day away from achieving everything I’ve worked so hard for.
Sighing away my trip down memory lane, I grab my phone and silence the ringer before turning up the music I’m blaring to drown out the sound of Abby’s Christmas music downstairs. How many times does this woman have to listen to Mariah Carey’sAll I Want for Christmas is You?
The beginning jingles reset, permeating my wall of Harry Styles, and apparently, the limit doesn’t exist for Abby this year.
Whoever Mariah is asking for, dear Santa, can you please, for the love of all that is holly, give it to her this year? I’ve had my fill of that song in this house.
Dropping onto my bed, I grab my heating pad and place it on my abdomen to quiet the pain roaring there.
I thought about letting the girls know about my endometriosis a few times. But after overhearing one of my sisters last year say that she thought people with chronic illnesses are sad, I decided it was best that the only person left on campus who knew was Jenny—who would never dream of breaking my confidence on the matter. She’s too good.
It’s not a simple thing to hide, but it is doable, so I push through every day, ensuring my exterior reflects the perfection I strive for, even when my interior is a dumpster fire. Relaxing with my favorite baking show playing on my laptop and laying back like this is the only time I let myself give in and acknowledge the pain.
If anyone saw me, they’d have a field day with my unkempt appearance, but this is my favorite part of the day—Madeline time. My hair’s twisted up in a topknot with a spa headband to push back my bangs, and I plastered a swamp green mask on my face. To complete the cozy AF aesthetic, I’m wrapped in an old baggy shirt from my “Maddie” days. It’s a shirt Jenny bought me because she thought it was hilarious, and I guess it is. It says “Nar Wars” in big yellow letters and has two narwhals with lightsabers instead of horns. I hardly ever wear it, but something today tugged at me to snuggle with it.
So I did.
There isn’t anyone here, so what’s the harm?
Two hard raps on my door force me to pause my baking video with a loud sigh. Everyone in the house knows I need this me time and they’ve always either respected or feared me enough to comply.
“Enter,” I say, not bothering to hide my irritation.
Haley, a pledge who has yet to learn proper fear, peeks her annoyingly flawless little First-Year head in. The Christmas music and my frustration with this intrusion grow louder without the hard-oak barrier.
“Madeline, a guy named Seth is here to see you.” Her eyes widen when she takes in the green mush on my face. “He’s kind of cute. Want me to send him in?”
“No,” I hiss.
