The streetlamps threw enough light for him to make out white tinsel and stars hanging around a tableau of figurines.There were owls, deer with big antlers, and in the centre, a woman with one tit out.Zig wasn’t sure what all that had to do with Christmas—except maybe the deer—but were witches allowed to celebrate Christmas anyway?Maybe they called it something else, like Midwinter, or Yule.
Zig hadn’t believed in the baby Jesus, or Santa for that matter, since Christmas holidays halfway through primary school.His dad had taken him on his first break-in and then clouted him for setting off the alarm after squeezing through a window, like he was supposed to be some kind of expert on house-breaking at age eight.
At least he hadn’t left him behind, like Zig had been terrified of at the time.Course, that would have been a one-way ticket to jail for his dad and the care system for Zig.
Would he have been better off that way?Never know, now, would he?He stood there a mo, finding more details in the dimly lit display the longer he looked.There were flowers, and holly, and something with wings that wasn’t an owl.And was that figure at the back a woman or a rabbit, or some weird mix of the two?
It was strange, though—while he couldn’t work out what it all was, it was clear that it meant something.But nothing Zig could understand.It was a world away from the shops back home, done up with fake snowmen and Santas made in China.
It was also fucking freezing out here, so why the hell wasn’t he knocking on Si’s door?Zig clenched his fists tight, then relaxed his hands and pulled them out of his pockets.Door on the left, Si’s dad had said.Right.He could do this.Ring the bell, you twat, he told himself, and did.
There was a long enough silence that Zig was about to go find the nearest pub and get plastered, but then the thump of footsteps down stairs held him frozen to the spot, his breath caught and his heart beating way too wildly andJesus, get a fucking grip—
The door opened.
Zig had been prepared for some changes in Si’s appearance since they’d last seen each other.He wouldn’t be so fresh-faced, and he’d probably have filled out a bit.EvenZighad filled out a bit, although no one would have known it from the way Mrs.G had been talking earlier.But Si...
Fuck me, he’s gone all biker.With a side order of lumberjack.Si had never been skinny like Zig, back in their teens, but now?Now he was fuckingbuilt.Shoulders that could hold up a bloody marquee, and thick muscle everywhere, with a hint of softness on top.He had a full, dark beard now, and was wearing a faded black hoodie with a print of a skeletal hand making the horns gesture.He was a great big metalhead bear of a man, and Zig had never been so conscious of the year or so between them.Had never feltyoungnext to Si before.
Behind that beard, though, Si’s face had paled.“Zig?”
Zig pasted on the cocky smile he should have been wearing from the start.“All right, mate?I’ve come for a visit.Catch up with me teenage sweetheart.How you been?”
Si’s eyes widened.Then he stepped forward.
Zig froze—and relaxed again as, instead of decking him, Si enveloped him in a huge bear hug.
Jesus, that felt good.Si’s hoodie was the softest thing he’d felt in a long time, and his chest was warm and inviting.Zig could’ve stayed in that embrace for the rest of hislife, except the hot air from inside the flat was making his eyes prickle.He stepped back, making sure his smile was firmly in place.“Reckon you can find room on your sofa for me?”
“Course I can.”Si’s voice was deeper than Zig remembered too.Growlier.It did stuff to Zig’s insides.“Come on in.”
Si’s head whirled.Seeing Zig on his doorstep, it was like he was nineteen again and on his first trip to a gay club.Zig didn’t look exactly the same, of course.He’d always changed his hair colour as often as he changed his socks.His face wasn’t so soft around the edges, and his frame seemed more solid, less witchy-thin than he’d been as a teenager.But that crooked smile was the same, and bloody hell, them eyes were even more dazzling than Si had remembered.
It hadn’t been a conscious decision to hug him.It had just been sobloodygood to see the bloke alive and well.Bit painful, too, he wasn’t gonna lie.But Zig had fit into his arms perfectly.Solid.Real.
Over the years, Si had wondered how Zig had been since they’d parted.Hadn’t been able to stop himself, despite knowing it wasn’t helping him move on one bit.Would Zig still be breezing through life, or would he have come a cropper, due to the company he kept?Had Si done the wrong thing, leaving him?Should he have stayed?Tried harder to overcome all them other influences in Zig’s life?Could he have made a difference?Would Zig have wanted him to?
Now here he was.In Si’s flat, with his black-and-blue hair and trendy clothes, acting like it’d been no time at all since they’d last seen each other.
Or maybe not quite like that.Zig had seemed hesitant at first, when they’d hugged.Like he thought it was weird, and maybe it was at that.Butgods.
Si took a deep breath.Get a grip.“You hungry, mate?”he called over his shoulder as he led Zig down the narrow hallway into the living room.“Can rustle you up something on toast, or there’s plenty of takeaways if you’d rather.”
“Nah, cheers, mate.I’ve eaten.”Zig paused in the doorway, glancing around the room.
Bugger.There were bike mags and Doctor Who crap all over the place.Si should have tidied up, but who ever came round but his mates?
“Actually, your mum fed me,” Zig went on before Si could muster an apology for the mess.“Thought she might’ve called to let you know I was on me way?”
Si blinked.“No, haven’t heard from her.You were round my mum and dad’s?”Back when they’d been going out, Si hadn’t eventhoughtof introducing Zig to his parents, and now he’d been round for dinner?
“Well, yeah.Didn’t have your current address, did I?”
“S’pose you didn’t.”What would Zig have done if he’d gone to the old address and found nobody home—or if Mum and Dad had moved?Asking the question seemed a bit personal, somehow, so he didn’t.Weird, though, to think of Zig in the house Si had grown up in.He couldn’t remember giving Zig the address, but he must have, he guessed.And Zig had kept it all this time?Si’s chest tightened.
“What did you tell ’em about me?”Zig asked.There was a strange tension in the way he was holding himself, and he wasn’t looking Si in the face.
Si frowned.“Not much, I don’t think.Bit hard to remember, after all these years.”
