It’s like hearing my own diary parroted back to me. All the arguments and eye rolls and refusals to back out weren’t because he didn’t care, but rather because hedid. He cared just as much as I did the entire time. He just had a different way of showing it.
‘And you almost gave it up.’ I search his eyes for an answer.
He shrugs into himself, clearly desperate to look away and drop it. But he doesn’t. He stays firm and continues to match my stare, his eyes glazed over with a wordless apology.
‘I was making you miserable and I knew how badly you wanted it too. I didn’t want to be the thing standing in front of your dream,’ he says. ‘But then she was so proud of ourpresentation, and my mood-board idea, and it was my first taste of seeing just how much I could do this. I didn’t think it would cause the reaction it did though– sorry. I genuinely am so sorry about that.’
‘I’ve told you already– the panic attack wasn’t about you.’
‘I know that now.’ He squeezes my hand tighter. ‘But at the time, I felt like I was ruining your life and I spent all weekend stressing about it. Maddison, please look at me when I say this. I never want to be the thing that makes you upset again.’
My eyes drop to the table, briefly overwhelmed by the beauty of this place, our conversation, and the warmth of his hand as it cradles mine, but even as I look down, I feel his eyes before I see them, burrowing into me with a stern but kind gaze. The sheer force of it makes me dizzy– alcohol be damned. I don’t think I will ever get used to the way he looks at me.
‘I brought you here, to this greenhouse, because I wanted you to see my favourite part of this place.’ He rises to his feet and beckons me to follow as he begins to conduct a mini tour. ‘It’s way out of bounds for any of her guests, so I can usually escape when the people or her parties get too much. I tell her I need to go get more napkins. . .’
He stops at an old chest nestled in the corner and opens it to reveal endless stacks of napkins.
‘Genius,’ I say, nodding at the display. ‘But I can’t imagine you of all people needing to escape a party.’
Back at Winterdown, the words ‘Aiden Edwards’ and ‘party’ were synonymous. He was the life of each one and they could not happen without him. I’d come in on a Monday to endless retellings of Aiden’s exploits at yet another party I didn’t go to.
‘I like my alone time too, I’m just not snooty about it,’ he says teasingly, arm coming in for a playful pat.
I catch it on its way in, gripping his fist in my palm and staring back at his shocked little face.
‘Impressive,’ he says.
‘Thank you.’ I smile smugly. ‘And thank you for bringing me here. For sharing your secret escape with me.’
I drop his hand and make my own way around the space, ducking under low vines and twisting my way around the plants. It’s like something out of a movie– a magical land of mystery, a world apart from whatever lies in wait outside. He watches me as I wander through the foliage, sniffing flowers and stroking leaves on my way. I turn around quickly, attempting to catch him in the act, but he owns his stare proudly, sauntering over and grabbing my hand in his. We face each other, me looking up as he looks down, some magnetic force pulling us close. I feel my lips part, teeth flashing to mirror his as best as I can. It’s not the same, though.Hissmile makes my heart shoot through my chest.
‘I was kind of thinking that, maybe this time around, we could consider thisourescape?’ He shrugs. ‘You know, a safe space that we could both run to if the Summer Splash gets too much.’
His hand shakes in my palm as he says it, eyes suddenly glued to the floor. He’s nervous– shy to share his place with someone else. I drop his hand, reaching for his chin and bringing it closer.
‘Will there be a picnic every time?’ I joke to ease the tension.
His jaw unclenches immediately, whole body relaxing as he shifts back into his naturally cool state.
‘If that’s what it takes, then so be it.’ He laughs with me before pulling me in for a triumphant kiss.
Nudge 30
The Promise
‘Is that mine?’
‘What?’
With the day nearly over, it’s time to pack up our stuff so we can head out first thing in the morning. I hoped he wouldn’t notice the new addition to my wardrobe, but now that he’s packed and ready to join me for bed, he’s already spotted it. It’s my own fault, I suppose. I lost any advantage of being sneaky the second I insisted that we spend the night in my room.
‘Don’t play dumb, Maddy.’
‘Me? Dumb? We both know that’s impossi—’ An ear-piercing screech leaves my mouth as he lifts me into the air, twirls me around and lands me very effectively out of the way of my duffle.
‘Yep, just as I suspected.’ He removes the oversized sweatshirt from my bag.
‘I’ve worn it all evening! Reason dictates it’s mine now.’ I march back over to him and reach for it, ready to snatch, but he is far too quick, stretching his arm above his head. I jump over and over again as he jerks backwards with a smile on his face.
