I shift uncomfortably, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
‘All I could think of was my mum, and our house and my little sister, and what would happen if. . .’ He trails off. ‘I wasn’t ready to be her guardian and I’d never really thought about my future, but suddenly it was there. I panicked. Hard. Ended up slumped on the waiting-room floor, trying to figure out why I suddenly couldn’t breathe.’
‘I’ve been there,’ I whisper, recalling that day in the boardroom.
‘Yeah, I know,’ he says softly, ‘A nurse taught me that soothing technique, actually. I’m glad I was able to pay it forward.’
‘Yeah, me too,’ I say, mirroring his shaky but gentle smile. ‘So, what happened next?’
He swallows his smile instantly, face contorting back into that of a scared little boy. It’s so quick that it can only be muscle memory. He’s back in the room. Back reliving the worst day of his life.
‘She spent the next three, four months in and out of hospital. My dad’s not around, she can’t drive, and my sister was thirteen at the time, so I applied for extenuating circumstances and did the rest of the year from home.’
‘That’s a lot.’
It’s not nearly enough of a response, but I can’t help it– he’s stunned me. All these years and I had no idea.
‘Yeah, it was.’ He sighs, voice laced with resentment. ‘I can’t lie– it fucked me up for a while. I couldn’t focus, couldn’t think of anything but my mum, and her heart, and how we were gonna survive. I don’t think I slept for more than three hours at a time that next year. And I sure as hell didn’t talk to anyone for three months straight.’
‘So, your friends. . . ?’
‘Didn’t know. A lot of them still don’t, to be fair. They’ve never been the best when it comes to the serious stuff. But Lucy knew. She didn’t get it, and shehatedhow miserable the whole thing made me. If I wasn’t with my family, I was busy arguing on the phone with her. In fact, the only time I left my mum’s side during it all was a couple months in, when she forced me to visit her. . .’
‘During May Madness,’ I say.
‘Yeah. . .’ For a second, he looks back at me confused, before completing the puzzle for himself and snapping to life.
‘Oh, shit. I’m really sorry, I didn’t. . .’
‘Not right now,’ I say, trying to brush it back under the
carpet.
I thought I was ready to talk about it with him, but right now I can’t think of anything worse. Not after last night. Not after this greenhouse.
He shakes his head, searching deep into my eyes and forgetting about his troubles as he narrows in on mine. I can read his face without him speaking.
‘Maddison,’ he says.
‘I am over it, no point dwelling on it.’ I shrug, reaching for my glass and draining the contents. ‘How’s everything with your mum now?’
He pauses before continuing, less than happy but willing to concede. ‘Really good. We’re all good. Mum had open-heart surgery at the start of this year. It was scary as hell, but she’sbeen thriving ever since. And Sara’s smashing it, obviously– she takes after her brother. Studying medicine at uni, wants to be a heart surgeon one day.’
I can see a small smile return as he immediately untenses.
‘That’s really lovely,’ I say, my smile growing too.
‘Yeah. She’s my everything. They’re my everything,’ he says. ‘And I will do everything in my power to make sure they’re always secure. It’s why, I don’t know, sometimes I think maybe the business thing should just stay a pipe dream. I’ve got a secure thing here with Evie, and she’s finally starting to see my potential and consider me for promotions. I reckon I’d make a pretty good manager someday.’
‘You are a manager though– a talent manager is still technically a manager,’ I say.
He pauses.
‘Honestly, that’s just Evie-speak for personal assistant. It’s a fancy title with no actual responsibility,’ he says. ‘In all my years with her, I’ve been waiting for a chance to show I’m worth more– that I can do more than just take her notes and run errands. So, when I got the Summer Splash. . .’
‘You knew it was your chance to prove yourself.’
‘Exactly,’ he says.
