Dev curled her lip. “Who wants to be?”
“That’s enough from all of you. Ratter, please tell me that’s not yours?” Haven sounded concerned. I wasn’t sure whether to be offended.
“It’s notmyblood.”
Before she could ask anything else, the girls were giggling, and Peony had blurted out, “I bet it’s her boyfriend’s. Thatscrumptious one from Pict that she poisoned because he looked at that new castle maid for too long.”
“That’s not why I poisoned him!” I half-shouted. Papa Niko growled, and I went on, more quietly. “If I had, I mean. I’m not saying I did. He’s fine. I just saw him today.”
Fine with a fresh stab wound in his shoulder, but I wasn’t going to tell them that. I refused to feel guilty for my completely natural impulse to kill a man who tried to buy a kiss—my first one, no less! He deserved more than the tiny flesh wound I’d left him with.
“Ladies don’t poison the boys they like, Ratter,” Haven said sternly. “There are better ways to turn a man’s head.”
“I wasn’t trying to turn his head.”
“Unless you mean turn it a few full rotations until it falls off,” Verity muttered.
“Anyway, if I’d poisoned him, he’d be dead.” They all went quiet, knowing that was the truth. “I heard he just got some bad fish.”
Trevor snorted. “Yeah. I hear the poisonous trout are biting.”
“Enough,” Niko growled, Alpha dominance filling his tone. “No more talk of poison at the dinner table.”
Haven nodded her thanks, took a few more bites of her dessert, then said gently, “We still need to talk. General Vilkurn came by today to let us know what’s ahead for you. And why.” Her lower lip trembled, and Papa Rand leaned over and kissed her on top of her wheat-gold hair.
“All right, I may have poisoned Serak, but I didn’t do everything Vilkurn says—” I began to explain, and the whole table burst out laughing. Well, my crew did anyway.“What?” I glared at them all. “You don’t even know what I didn’t do!”
“Ratter, you always say you didn’t do the very worst of the things you do,” Trevor chuckled. “Just own up to it.”
Haven sighed. “Would you like to tell the little children your news before we talk?”
“Ah, not really, no,” I said, taking a big swig of apple juice. I’d met with my crew the night before at the castle, and that had been bad enough. “But I suppose there’s no help for it.” I mustered a smile for the littles. I didn’t want them to cry.“I’m going on a grand adventure. I’ll be leaving the day after the Solstice, and I’m going to journey all over the continent.”
“I go, too,” Toby demanded immediately. He loved to follow his older siblings around, which had gotten us into trouble more than once.
I smiled, rumpling his blond hair. “Not this time, Tobes. This time, it’s just me. But don’t worry. I’ll be back before you know it. And I’ll bring presents for all of you, so stop blubbering.”I glared at Baby, who looked like he might actually be crying, though a few of my crew had suspiciously itchy eyes all of a sudden.
Haven, though, decided she’d had enough, and stood. “Let’s go, Ratter. Trevor?” She nodded at him. “I’d like you to help Daddy oversee story time.”
“Story Daddy and Trevor are on the job.” Graham kissed Haven, then rolled his wheelchair toward the sink, while Niko and Rand grabbed their coats and a thick quilted blanket to wrap around Haven. “Everyone else is on dishes.”
The dramatic groans and moans almost made me laugh on my way out the door, into the wickedly cold evening air. Niko and Rand flanked their Omega as they accompanied us to the training yard. The two Alphas were tall and every bit as strong as they’d been when they were on active duty in the king’s army. But I wasn’t afraid of them. I was more scared of Haven, and her watering blue eyes.
“Don’t cry, Mama,” I said softly. “You know I get hives around emotions.”
She held the blanket wide and wrapped her arms around me when I stepped close to her. For a moment, I let myself relax into the softness of her hug, breathing in her cinnamon and sugar scent. She wasn’t short, but I was taller by a few inches, and I lifted my head to meet the gazes of two of the men I called father. Two of the best Alphas in the world.
“I’m not ready to lose you,” Haven sniffled.
“You won’t. Anyway, I can’t go,” I said softly. “Not yet.”
“We can’t get you out of this one, Ratter,” Niko said, his dark eyebrows lowering. “We did try. But?—”
Rand interrupted. “But some plagues kill fewer men than you have in the past year, daughter. And Vilkurn is right. If you’re going to take his place someday, you need the training. To become the woman you were born to be. Even if it means we won’t be there to see it.”
I fought back a sob, and found myself enfolded in a group hug. When I pulled away, I got control of myself, joking around with my dads until Haven gave them a look and they went inside. Then, we sat side by side on the bench Niko had carved. We waited to speak until we were truly alone, and I’d given the “all’s well” hand signal to Dev, who’d just snuck out her window to go do her shift at the castle. While the Mirrenese contingent were in residence, we wouldn’t leave the queen’s children without one of our crew in place.
Haven nudged me. “Now, tell me what has you so upset.”
