Right. “My father called me that night after we fu—had sex. Told me that if I didn’t break it off with you that I would lose all my inheritance from him and my mom.” I saw the way Jones’s eyes widened, and I knew he thought I did it for the money. This one might hurt more. “And that he would break up with your mother. Leave her with nothing but the clothes on her back.”
“What?” Jones gasped. “Remi loves Mama. I’ve never seen a happier couple.”
I chewed on my lip before I spoke, trying to figure out what to say. “I’m glad to hear that, Bashful. I haven’t spoken to my father much since that night. Just a few texts here and there. I wasn’t even invited to the wedding, or I would have shown up. Probably would have tried to win you back then, although your guard dog might not have let me near you. Speaking of Ollie, the two of you never screwed around? Not even a blowie or anything?”
“Charlie, stop it.” His ears turned pink, then he dropped his gaze to the bottle of cider. He picked at the label, and when he didn’t say anything right away, I started to get worried. “I’ve never been with anyone other than you. I’ve gone on a couple of dates, and sure, it could have gone further if I had wanted it to, but I didn’t. You’re the only one who’s ever touched me like that.”
Pride warmed me from the inside out, even though I couldn’t say the same. I had an itch that needed to be scratched, and nameless hookups were what worked best.
“He still wants you.” It was on the tip of my tongue to ask about the black eye Ollie was sporting, but instead I reached for Jones’s hand, only for him to drop it into his lap. “I guess I deserve that.”
“Ollie cares about me. He was there for me when you weren’t, and if I could return his feelings, I would. He deserves someone who loves him in ways that I never can,” Jones snapped. His hazel eyes flashed angrily. “What about why you’re here? Is that really because of me?”
I nodded. “I was terrible at racing at first. I crashed more cars than I care to admit. But once I finally got the hang of it, I started winning. Not a lot, but enough to realize I could probably make a living doing it. I had originally just planned on starting my own team. Thought I could hire you. I went back to Boston suffering and in pain. This helped keep my mind off things.”
“I bet,” Jones muttered, then let out a long sigh. “What do you want from me, Charlie?”
“I want you back,” I answered truthfully. “I’ll do whatever it takes, but I meant what I said. I love you. Leaving you was the worst thing I ever did, and I wanted to stay. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want your mom to end up broken-hearted either.”
He took a long sip of his cider, and I watched with jealousy when he dragged his tongue over his bottom lip. I wanted to do that. I still remembered the way Jones’s mouth tasted. How he felt in my arms. The sounds he made when he came, and how he begged me to fuck him that night. How it felt when he came apart beneath me.
“So, it was okay that I ended up broken-hearted instead?”
“What? No, I just... I figured you would bounce back.”
“Bounce back?” Jones exclaimed, and shot up from the chair. “I was a mess. My heart was broken, and my friends had to drag me out of my bed, force me to shower, to eat, andto live. I didn’t want to do anything. So no, I didn’t just bounce back like you thought I would. I loved you so darn much, Charlie, and you just threw me away like a piece of garbage.”
His words echoed in my head.I loved you. I loved you. I loved you. “Jonesy, you’re not garbage.” I started to climb to my feet.
“I can’t do this. I need you to leave now,” he whispered.
That wasn’t happening. “No.”
“What? Yes, you need to leave.” Jones stared at me with contempt. “I don’t want you here, and I don’t—What are you doing?”
He gasped when I caged him in against the wall. I pressed my body against his. I was still bigger, had more muscle, and I wasn’t afraid to use it. I still enjoyed the feel of Jones pressed against me.
“Say it again. Tell me you love me.”
“No.” He shook his head. “You said if I wanted you to go, that I could tell you to leave. That’s what I want, Charlie. Leave. Now, please.”
I thought about kissing him. The way Jones’s hazel eyes dipped to my mouth told me he might let me or might draw blood. Both would be fine, but at least I’d get to taste him again.
“If that’s what you want.” I took a step back. When Jones didn’t stop me, disappointment hit me like a brick. “I love you.”
Jones backed away as he watched me head toward the door. “Please don’t, Charlie. I can’t do this with you again.”
Always so polite. Even when he was telling me to leave him alone. When I heard the door lock behind me, I sat down on the damp grass, buried my face in my hands, and cried.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Charlie
I groaned as I rolled onto my back, then sat up with a start. The sun blinded my eyes when I opened them, and that’s when I realized I had fallen asleep outside Jones’s RV. My entire body was screaming at me from sleeping on the hard ground, and I was suddenly terrified Jones would find me here and think I was some sort of creepy stalker. Or even worse, Ollie. I knew the big guy was just looking to lay me out. He had every reason. I might even let him. To help me feel something other than the massive pile of guilt I was carrying around.
“I was wondering when you would wake up.”
My head snapped around to find Jones sitting on the steps watching me.Oops.
