Cael slung an arm around Zach’s upper back, giving him a sideways hug. “What’s wrong?”
Zach heaved a deep sigh. “Everything,” he whispered, subconsciously leaning into Cael’s embrace.
Cael’s body stiffened beside him, and Zach realized what he’d done. Cael’s touch had just been so comforting, Zach hadn’t been able to help himself.
“Sorry,” Zach muttered, pulling away even though he really didn’t want to.
“It’s fine,” Cael answered, his voice husky and thick with emotion. “You know I don’t mind, especially if it helps you feel better.”
Zach took a deep breath. “It did. A little. Thanks.” Zach tried to forget the intimate moment that they had just shared. “I, uh… Did you want to eat now?”
“Yeah.” Cael cleared his throat. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”
Zach grabbed two cold beers while Cael grabbed the pizza, a couple paper plates, and a handful of napkins.
He and Cael plopped down on the couch at the same time in their usual spots, falling into their normal routine. Pizza and beers in front of the boob-tube had been a regular thing for them since they’d both turned twenty-one. But as Zach glanced over at Taylor sleeping in her playpen, his gut clenched. If Abbey didn’t make it, evenings such as this could be his new normal. But as long as Cael stuck close, that wouldn’t be so bad, would it?
***
Zach couldn’t make heads or tails of what was going on with him lately, but ever since the day of Abbey’s accident, he’d been seeing everything and everyone differently. Especially Cael.
Cael had been his best friend for more than half his life, but it had taken the last couple weeks for Zach to realize he was a lot more than his best friend. Cael was his rock. Zach’s go-to for anything he ever needed. The one person he could depend on for absolutely anything, and when Zach said anything, he literally meant fuckinganything.
The last couple weeks, Cael had more than proven that. He came home to Zach’s house every day after work, helped with dinner, then played with Taylor until her bedtime. That’s when things got a little weird, because each night, they gave her a bath and put her to bed together, as if they were a couple adapting to a new child.
Tonight had been even weirder because as Zach straightened after laying Taylor down in her crib—she’d fallen asleep in his lap during Cael’s reading of One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish—Cael pressed his hand against his lower back, and Zach swore it was like fucking magic.
His momentary touch had sent a warm tingle rippling up and down Zach’s spine, and Zach had leaned into Cael for the second time because, in all honesty, it had plain felt good. For a moment, Zach had felt as though he had the one thing he’d been chasing for so long, but then, rather quickly, Cael pulled his hand away, muttering “sorry,” and Zach had felt like a fucking idiot for even thinking such a thing, because what Zach wanted was not at all what Cael wanted.
Now, as Zach sat on the living room sofa just inches away from Cael, zoning out in front of Pixels, because he loved that movie, he wondered if he’d been looking at everything all wrong. Maybe, all this time, Zach had been looking for the right girl when he should have been looking for the right guy. Maybe he’d been too narrow with his dating preferences, but the more he thought about it, the more he couldn’t seem to imagine being with a guy who wasn’t Cael. Maybe it was just because he felt so comfortable around him, but Zach couldn’t recall ever being attracted to another guy before, unless drunken college experiments counted.
The thought of being with a man didn’t disturb Zach at all. He’d always believed that a person couldn’t necessarily control with whom they fell in love, and Zach considered himself open-minded enough to know that included him too. He’d just never imagined Cael as anything more than his best friend before.
Cael downed the last of his beer, then gestured at the empty bottle Zach held while resting it on his thigh. Cael scooted forward. “You done? Want another?”
“Nah, I’m done.”
Cael grabbed the bottle from Zach’s hand and went to the kitchen, dumping both in the recycle bin with the others with loud clinks. When he returned, he sat close again—which wasn’t anything new—kicking his feet up on the table and laying his arm across the back of the couch behind Zach, putting every nerve in Zach’s body on high alert.
Lately, he’d become hyperaware of Cael’s physical presence, especially when they were this close. Zach wanted Cael to touch him again. He didn’t care how. He just wanted to see if he felt that zing coupled with a warmth in his veins he had earlier this evening.
Zach could literally scoot a couple inches and rest against him. Cael could lower his arm and bring it around him, pulling Zach against his side. Within seconds and with little effort, Zach could be pressed against him, cuddling as they watched the movie together. Then, when the credits rolled, Cael could tip Zach’s chin up and kiss him as they palmed and rubbed each other’s groins, making each other hard.
Fuck. Zach was getting hard just thinking of all that. And there went his soft, loose-fitting pants, tenting in a very fucking obvious way.
“Movie turning you on that much, Pook?” Cael snorted.
Shit. “Shut up. I’m depressed, buzzed, and horny as fuck.”
Cael leaned in close and dropped a seductive tease in his ear. “I could help you with that, you know.”
Cael’s warm breath and whispered words washed over Zach’s ear and neck, sending shivers across his body, and making his dick perk up even more. For more than a second, he actually considered—details aside—taking Cael up on his offer because he was really fucking horny, but he’d never been one for casual sex.
Zach needed the love and commitment with it, unlike Cael who preferred his no-strings-attached encounters with other men. Still, maybe he could indulge just this once. It would give him the chance to feel what it would be like to have Cael’s hands on him and see if he enjoyed it, something he had to admit, really interested him right now.
“You’re actually thinking about it, aren’t you?”
“No,” Zach barely choked out the word. He swallowed hard, his heart pounding as his breathing deepened.Fuck, yes, I’m thinking about it.
