He blows out a heavy sigh, and I have a feeling I’m not going to like what comes next.
“I’m just nervous. The last time my boyfriend’s family found out about me, it ended in a disaster, and my own family still hasn’t recovered.”
There are so many times when Taylor’s large personality makes me forget he can be vulnerable, too. That he has a past that’s cut him as deeply as mine.
Oddly, it doesn’t bother me like it did at the very beginning. Yes, he’s young, but he’sTaylor.He lives out loud, and he makes me smile. He’s certainly taught me that sexuality is just a suggestion and age is just a number.
I sit on the arm of my couch and pull him between my legs.
Even sadness looks good on him.
“Hey,” I say, gripping his hips. “It’s not the same. You’re not forcing me to be here. You didn’t con me into this, and I don’t believe you conned him either. I think he was a coward put in a tough position, and he made the wrong choice.”
“But Ididforce you into this, didn’t I?” he asks, his arms hanging limply at his sides instead of touching me. “I wouldn’t back off even when you told me to. I purposely put myself in your path and forced you to interact with me.”
I can’t help the smile spreading across my face. “Taylor Landry, are you telling me you got thrown from that jet ski on purpose so that I’d take care of you?”
“What? No!” he cries indignantly.
“Baby,relax. I’m just teasing. I know you didn’t. Yes, you pushed a little hard, but Tay, I needed that push.”
I can’t explain how his presence in my life pulled me back from the brink of despair. He’s given me a sense of purpose and a place to focus my protective nature and my need to nurture. I have so much knowledge about life that I can share with him in return for the energy, joy, and spontaneity he gives me.
“Look,” I continue. “There’s no pressure tonight. I want you to wear what you want, say what you want, and act how you want. I just want youthere.I want my worlds to collide. My friends are obnoxious as fuck, but they’re good guys. I’m not going to deny what we are. I’m not going to push you away in front of them. I’mnotPatrick.”
Taylor’s jaw clenches as his ex-lover’s name falls from my lips, and I can see the pain in his eyes.
It makes me irate to know he’s still hurting over that jackass.
“I feel like such an asshole,” Taylor finally says.
“Why?”
“Because I think I was unintentionally using you to distract myself while I was stuck at home.” His words shock me, but not as much as the tears he’s trying to prevent from spilling over onto his cheeks. “I want to do this with you, but I’m afraid. You once called me brave for living the way I do, butyou’rethe brave one. You’ve just embraced all of this so easily. You were beautifully unexpected, and now I feel like I fucked up because watching you heal has made me realize I’m still broken.”
My fucking heart stops in my chest as his first tear escapes and rolls down his face. Crushing him to me, I rub his back and talk into his hair.
“Baby, it’s okay to be broken. I’ll help put you back together. I’ve had fiveyearsto hurt, to be angry and numb. Your timeline is much different. On one of the worst nights of my life, you told me,It’s okay to hurt…to be mad…to be sad. It doesn’t make you weak, and even if it did, it’s okay to let someone else be the strong one every now and then. So, now it’s my turn to be the strong one.”
Taylor’s body wracks with a sob as he presses deeper into my neck, his tears soaking my skin.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “I’m so tired of being upset over the whole thing, but I lost so more than just Patrick that night.”
I push Taylor back by the shoulders so I can kiss his cheeks, drinking in his salty tears.
“You don’t have to apologize. I want to help you through this if you’ll let me.”
He sniffles and nods.
“Good. I know your outfits often reflect your mood, and you’re in no mood to party, but would you rather wear something less stuffy?” I ask with a smile, bringing my hands to the buttons on his shirt.
He gives me another nod and allows me to open all the buttons and push the shirt off his shoulders. Unable to stop myself, I lean forward and plant kisses on his pecs, his sternum, and trail my wet tongue across his abs, finally taking a deep breath when his hands move to my hair and I pull him into the moment with me.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I remind him.
“Are you sure we have to go tonight?” he asks. There’s a hint of playfulness back in his tone, and it feels like a weight has been lifted from my chest.
“Yes, but we can leave right after dinner.”
