As soon as the word enters my mind, I feel like shit.
Stop with the comparison already, I chastise myself.
Suddenly, I feel itchy. The need to fly, to physically run away from this current situation, is overwhelming. I’m in over my head here. I don’t deserve Knox. I’ve somehow fooled him into thinking I have my shit together, and I don’t. Not even close.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” The concern in Knox’s voice hits me square in the face.
“Um, nothing. Why?”
“You’ve tensed up, and your fingernails are biting into my forearms.”
I look down, and sure enough, I’m leaving crescent-moon-shaped marks in his skin.
“Shit. Sorry.” I pull my hand off his forearm.
The worry in his eyes makes me hate myself a little, but he doesn’t press me. “Let’s go clean up,” he says instead. As I’m getting to my feet, he adds, “Phoenix demanded we go to dinner at his house with everyone tonight. I had to agree, or he threatened to bring them all here…and Phoenix doesn’t make idle threats.”
My stomach turns.
It’s usuallymewho gets attached too fast.
“Are…are you sure you want me to meet all your friends?” I ask, trying to keep the panic from rising.
Knox laughs as he turns on the shower. “You’ve already met most of them; you were just concussed at the time and don’t remember.”
“Yeah, but now we’re like…together?” It comes out as a question, because for all the talking we did at breakfast, we still avoided the topic.
He sweeps my paint-crusted hair off my forehead with a smile. “And I couldn’t be happier about it. Cat’s out of the bag, so we might as well face the music.”
Where does his strength come from, I wonder? I try to push all my thoughts aside and focus on getting ready for tonight’s dinner. It’s like Knox’s version of meeting the family since he has no biological family left.
As much as I wish I could stop comparing him and Patrick, it’s impossible not to think about the last time my boyfriend’sfamily found out about me. Nausea sweeps through me in a very visceral response to that traumatic day.
What was I thinking going down this road again?
Chapter 29
Knox
“What the hell are you wearing?” I ask when Taylor makes his way into the living room. I’ve been ready for half an hour, but he needed more time.
He looks down at his jeans and button-up shirt.
“Too formal?” he asks, sounding unsure of himself.
“No. I mean, you look great, but you also look so…” I trail off while I search for the right word, finally settling on “uncomfortable.”
Taylor gives me a tight smile. “Not uncomfortable. Just want to make a good impression.”
My head cocks to the side while I try to understand the words coming from his mouth.
I move toward him, unable to stay away any longer.
“Let me be very clear,” I tell him, cupping his face. “I don’t care what my friends think. They’re just happy that I’m happy, and I want you to show up exactly as yourself, not who you think they want to see.” I smooth the longer strands of his hair away from his left eye and lean down to kiss him.
He kisses me back, but barely.
“Tay, we aren’t leaving this house until you tell me what’s got you in a funk,” I tell him.
