This is what happens when you are selfish, Ash.
Colborn’s vacant muttered words choked Ash with shame. “Wow, Father. You couldn’t even wait a full day, could you?”
“Colborn…”
But his son was already walking away, and Ash was left watching Colborn’s departing back.
He wanted to point out that Colborn had slept with countless women while he wasbetrothedto Felicity. Ash had only slept with her after the betrothal was called off.But that was petty and juvenile and something his son probably would have used as an argument if he were in Ash’s shoes right now.Bugger me to hell.
A soft pressure settled on his arm. He looked up to meet pinched slim brows and an amber gaze glinting with worry. “Go to him, Ash.”
He slowly dusted his knuckles over Felicity’s still pink cheeks before he could stop himself. God, it was impossible for him to not touch her while in her presence, not now that the tips of his fingers knew the gift that was her skin.
He nodded. “You and Pandora will be well here?” He was sure Felicity would come up with some explanation for Pandora—perhaps just agree to the nightmares. At present, life certainly resembled a nightmare.
She dipped her chin and gave him an encouraging shove, and he headed after his retreating son.
His son was bloody fast. And determined to get away from Ash. But Ash was more determined to get to his son. Things were going to change between them going forward. They were going to spend time together, talk through problems. He winced. Ash hadn’t planned for that first problem to be Colborn finding out his father had shagged his ex-fiancé.
He let his head drop back and released a strangled groan. Fuuuck!
The worst part was. He didn’t regret it. As much as the guilt leeched into his skin, slowly eating away at him. He couldn’t regret being with Felicity. He fisted his waistcoat above his heart. She’d burrowed herself in there, a permanent tenant. And he knew, even after she was gone, the years would weather his body, age would erode his mind, but nothing would ever diminish the love he held for her.
He took the steps leading to the parapet walk two at a time, his son’s form disappearing as he ascended the cylindrical staircase. Breath huffing, Ash stepped through the archway to the roof, his gaze landing on Colborn standing in the center of the walk that connected the towers of the castle.
He walked over, and though his bootsteps echoed around them, Colborn refused to look at him. Ash settled next to his son, who stared out across the Devonford lands, hands gripping the stone wall with blanched knuckles.
Ash gazed out over his estate and waited, granting Colborn the time he needed, so he might speak once he was ready. He tried to distract himself by focusing on the view: The rolling green hills, the fresh foliage bursting forth with spring’s new growth, the River Arun peeking through the woods.
But the silence enveloped him as if submerged in the far-off river’s waters—suffocating. “Go ahead,” Ash said. “Yell at me. Rage at me. I deserve it, Colborn.”
Colborn shook his head, though he remained looking out across the expansive estate. Colborn’s jaw worked, and Ash leaned forward, ready to hear the words. Multiple times, he was convinced his son would finally speak only to be proven wrong.
“I don’t even know why I’m mad,” his son finally burst out. He slammed his fist on the eroded stone wall’s surface, a few loose fragments skittering across the surface. “I already admitted to not truly caring for Felicity in that way.” He scowled at his fist, his voice tight. “I knew you kissed her before, and I shouldn’t be surprised—I’m not surprised—that you two…” He opened his mouth and paused, seemed to think better of it and shut his mouth.
“What?” Ash prodded.
“My pride is hurt,” he managed to grit out, each word dragged from him, slow and seemingly painful. “She prefers you over me. And it makes me so bloody angry.”
He finally glanced at Ash, nostrils flaring, lips pressed in a white line. “Felicity knows me well, which is why her plan for revenge was perfect. She knew my vanity wouldn’t be able to handle that fact.” He blew out a breath and quickly added, “Even if the punishment is warranted for the way I treated her.”
Ash scrubbed a hand over his face and rubbed his chin. Colborn’s behavior had been atrocious. But an eye for an eye was not what Ash had in mind to teach his son a lesson.
“It was not meant to be a punishment for you, Colborn. It was between me and Felicity, and that’s it. And it’s not happening again.”
Colborn scoffed and leaned back, his arms going taut as he used the stone wall for leverage. “I’m sure Felicity will love that.” He screwed up his face and lowered his voice. “Apologies, Felicity, I can’t tup you any longer because my philandering son’s feelings are hurt.” He let out a laugh that held more disgust than any laugh ever should. “First, I try to control who she sleeps with when we’re betrothed, and I succeed in doing so even afterward.”
“That’s not the reason why. I see what you mean with your vanity, though.”
Colborn glanced at him, confusion clouding his dark blue eyes.
“The reason things cannot continue between me and Felicity has nothing to do with you,” he said patiently. “Not everything is about you—”
“Nothing has ever been about me.”
Ash froze at his son’s hollow words. At the sentiment, those words echoed from his and Colborn’s discussion in Ash’s study. All he had wanted was to keep Colborn safe from the consequences of the scrapes Colborn landed himself in. They were actions Ash took toprotecthis son. Instead, he’d inflicted a similar pain on his son that he himself suffered.
“Colborn.”
