“You what now?”
“Pet rocks. Who I talk to every night. Francis and Roxanne.” He massaged his temples. “I think it’s starting to work because she was looking at me like I was deuced odd at dinner.”
Sam stared at him in slack-jawed silence.
Ash snapped his fingers in Sam’s face, and his friend finally resurfaced from his shock.
“I don’t think I can help you with your…stones.” He sniggered. The man was about as mature as he was back when they were at Eton. “But I will help you with avoiding her. I just want to say, Iknowyou, Ash, and I know you would be able to hold on to your restraint. Regardless of how tempting she tried to be.
“You are a good man, despite what you think of yourself. But I will try to make this easier on you. Let’s head to the village tomorrow. Perhaps getting you in some other wench’s bed will be the exact distraction you need.”
“Sounds like an excellent plan,” Ash said.
It really didn’t.
Ash and Sam had sporadically gone out wenching after Winifred’s passing. It had taken Ash years to make the jump. After what he did to Winifred…he didn’t deserve the pleasure found with another. But eventually, his annoyingly persistent best friend had worn him down.
It had been a confusing mix of headiness and guilt, of thrill and betrayal. The women had wanted Ash’s touch,enjoyedit. He didn’t deserve to feel the exhilarating rush that gave him. How he preferred those encounters over his intimate experiences with his wife. Which was when the betrayal rushed in.
Lord, he was fucked in the head.
It also hadn’t taken long for Ash to realize how empty the random beddings made him feel. It wasn’t enough for a stranger to want him. He wanted more than desire. A decade in a loveless marriage and then another decade alone… He could admit it to himself; he was near delirious in his craving for love, for true intimacy.
But he remained hidden here at Devonford Castle. He kept to himself, only occasionally traveling to the village with Sam to exchange coin for pleasure, denying himself the chance of finding love. Because if there was anyone who didn’t deserve love, it was him.
He stared at the burnished bronze whisky in his glass, conjuring thoughts of a delicate face with bright amber eyes framed by amber tresses.
Love was not for him.
14
Ash
Ashhadbeensuccessfulin avoiding Lady Felicity for an entire day. He, Sam, and Barrow had gone out riding and inspected the estate for damage from the storm and then afterward Sam had hauled Ash to the village tavern. They had stumbled home in the wee hours of the morning properly tap-hackled, neither of them having found a willing bedpartner.
In Ash’s case, that was becausehewas the unwilling bedpartner. In Sam’s case, it had been because the tavern was much emptier than usual due to the flooding of the main roads. But it had been a fun night out with his best mate and a Lady Felicity-free evening.
But of course, when he awoke this morning, he was informed the roads remained impassable. Given the flooding on parts of his estate yesterday, he wasn’t all that surprised.
It was obvious the fates were cackling at him.Let us see how long we can dangle the woman of your dreams in front of you before your heart gives out,they taunted, steepling their hands with evil glee. Perhaps that was a mite melodramatic. But Ash didn’t give a bloody fig, because it was how he felt. Sam always got to be dramatic. It seemed only right that Ash indulge in a touch of drama for once—surely if any situation called for it, it was this one.
At breakfast that morning, he had continued to try to make himself dull and uninteresting. And busy. Too busy for anything she would suggest for them to do together. But then Pandora had mentioned she had a surprise for him. He’d immediately thrown all those made-up plans out the window. He would always clear his schedule for his daughter.
To which Pandora said she needed a bit of time to prepare, just an hour or so.
To which Lady Felicity quickly inserted herself.
To which…Fuck.
And that was how Ash found himself heading to the library to play a game of chess with Lady Felicity. He had suggested it because he thought it would make him appear boring. He also figured there wasn’t much she could do to seduce him over a game of chess. Besides be beautiful. And perfect. Had he saidfuck?
The other problem was he was actually terrible at chess. To be honest, he didn’t even know all the rules. But he had said how it was one of his favorite past-times. He played it all the time. He justlovedchess.
He’d spouted something idiotic about how he loved that some pieces were carved as horses. Then he proceeded to vomit an unseemly number of words:Yes, the knights. Fascinating pieces.And the way they move, all in that L-shape; great for mixing up your strategy. Unlike the rooks. Those rooks are no-nonsense, only moving straight. Great game, chess. Exhilarating.
He scrubbed a hand down his face. Killed two pheasants with one shot with that one. He was boringanddicked in the nob. It was surprisingly easy for him to sound like a bumbling idiot.
He was starting to fear that after having spoken so little over the past couple of decades, he had forgotten how to converse like a normal person. He could have sworn before he married, he had been quite adept with the ladies. He frowned.Quite adept?Bloody hell, who spoke like that? Who was he trying to delude? He probably would have never had any success if he weren’t a Duke.
