I hate that I can't find it in me to be elated that my family is here for me when I need them, even though I’ve spent years pushing them all away. When our father died, I lost the only one in our family who gave a shit about me. Cooper was the perfect son, Beau was his shadow, and Kyle was the baby. But I had no special place. To them, I was nothing but a nuisance. The afterthought, the forgotten child to everyone but Dad.
I’m not saying there wasn’t love. We had more than enough love in our house to go around. I know my family loved me and each other deeply, but with Dad, it was different. He saw me. I know it sounds strange, but for the life of me, I can’t think of any other way to explain it. Dad always took the time to ask me how I felt about things. He wanted my opinion when we had to make a family decision, and never pushed me to do anything if I said no. With Dad, I was a person, not just my older brothers’ accessory. And the moment he was gone, everything, and I meaneverything,was different.
I spent years in that house, a shadow of myself. Suffocating on all the lies that they told me, hiding behind their need to “protect me” or the common phrase “I’d understand when I was older,” and I believed them. They were my family, after all. They should’ve had my best interests at heart, but all those years, they were just covering their asses. Hiding the truth about what really happened that day and how my father was taken away from me. And for that, I can’t find it in me to forgive them.
“We care about you, Cole.” Cooper wraps his arm tightly around Ramona, pushing to his feet to come toward me, but Beau grips his shoulder and shakes his head.
“You don’t need to perform for anyone today, Cooper. We all know you aren’t here out of the kindness of your heart.” I scoff. “Where are the cameras? Let’s get this fucking photo op out of the way so I can get back to sleep. My head is fucking killing me.”
“Do you need me to go get a nurse?” Ramona whispers, her eyes flicking to Cooper before turning her attention back to me.
“No, thank you. What I need is to know what my lovely brothers want.”
The words taste like acid on my lips, but deep in my heart, I know they’re true. Cooper has never once given a shit about what I wanted or needed. The only person he thinks about is himself, just like that day. He’s the oldest, the strongest, and disguises his selfishness as love for his family, but I know better now. It’s always been his way or the highway. We only matter to him when it’s convenient and fits into the perfectly laid plan he’s set for his life. The moment I wanted something for myself, he labeled me a nuisance, holding him back from the life he dreamed of for himself. He and Beau had plans, but because of Kyle and me, they were stuck.
“Can’t I just want to see if my little brother is okay? You’ve been unconscious for three days, Cole. Three fucking days.”
Cooper's voice cracks slightly, but I’m not buying it. Not like I used to. Now I know better than to believe his bullshit.
“I’m only your little brother when it's convenient for you. Isn’t that right, Cooper?” I lock eyes with him, daring him to say something else.
The anger that was simmering below the surface a few moments ago is ready to explode out of me. Right now, I want to prove to everyone in this room that he is the bad guy, not me. He’s the reason our family was torn apart. He can spin it and try to sugarcoat it as much as he wants, but eventually, they will discover, just like I did, that Cooper Hendrix is completely full of shit.
Beau’s eyes narrow in my direction. “Cole.”
“Don’t, Beau. Just don’t.” I sigh, wincing slightly as I try to breathe through my anger. “Ever the peacemaker who pretends he doesn’t pick sides, but we both know you’re just as full of shit as he is.”
A heavy silence settles over the room. I’ve said my peace, and now I want them all to just leave. But there’s one person missing from this impromptu family reunion. “Where’s Momma?”
“Looking for your next victim?” Cooper mumbles as Beau smacks him in the back of the head.
“Fuck you, Cooper,” I growl. “She is the only one in this family I even remotely give a shit about. Excuse me for wanting to know where she is.”
I can see Cooper and Beau physically recoil as if I punched them with my words, and I don’t regret it. Cooper hasn’t reached out to me once since I walked out the door, only trying to make amends or talk to me when he learns something about my life he doesn’t like. Beau is no better. Yes, he’s forced himself on me over the years, but never because he wanted to see or talk to me. It was always because he wanted to guilt me into speaking to Cooper. Harping on me about how much pain our brother was in about our family being so broken. Cooper. Cooper. Cooper. Never Cole. Always fucking Cooper.
Is it childish to want to beat my big brother down? Fuck yeah, it is, but I couldn't care less. Rage and loneliness have been my only companions for all these years. It’s been me against the world since the day I walked out of my parents’ house. These people coming to make sure I didn’t die won’t change any of that.
Ramona cocks her head to the side, her eyes scanning my face, looking for something before she shakes her head and stands. “She’s at our place. Ms. Melanie refused to leave before you woke up, but we convinced her to go and at least take a shower.”
“Hopefully, Auntie Naomi and Momma convinced her to take a nap,” Alise says before reaching into her pocket and grabbing her phone. “I better call them and let her know this asshole is awake.”
“Alise,” Ramona hisses, her eyes flicking to me before narrowing back at Alise.
“It’s what you’ve all been thinking. I just said it out loud.”
“She isn’t wrong,” Beau mumbles, causing Cooper to chuckle.
“No, she isn’t. I am an asshole who doesn’t give a flying fuck what any of you think of me.”
Ramona rolls her eyes before gripping Alise’s arm. “Why don’t we both go back to Cooper’s place and tell them in person?”
“But I want to be here to watch the fireworks.” Alise leans forward, planting her elbows on the table and cupping her chin.
“Alise,” Ramona growls, narrowing her eyes at her. “Let’s go.”
Alise sighs heavily before making a show of moving from her seat and shoving her phone back into her pocket. “Feel better soon, asshole.”
I try to move my arm to give her a mock salute, but blinding pain shoots through my entire body, causing me to groan loudly. “Fuck.”
