Air puffed through my lips. Not quite a laugh, but getting there.
he commed in feigned shock.
I asked doubtfully.
Leaning to the side, pressing my cheek into the cool tile wall, coaching myself through a slow, deep breath, I commed,
I insisted, my impossible smile giving way to inconceivable laughter.
he continued as the vise around my chest slid free,
Laughing freely now, I shook my head.
His soft chuckle caressed my mind.
As my panic faded—a whisper after the storm, just like in that poem he’d read me—I commed, I bolted to my feet, slamming a hand against the wall for balance.
Groaning, I buried my face in my hands.
17
Since I couldn’t stayin the bathroom forever, I splashed water on my face, patted it dry, and did my best to push all thoughts of Jonathan back into that deep, secret place in my mind where they usually lived, always there, never far, but far enough that I could at least function.
I was shaken, visibly so, as I stared at myself in the mirror, at the ashen face that stared back at me. But as Freddie and Sai’s laughter filtered down the hall, I pinched color back into my cheeks, finger-combed my hair, and opened the door. When I stepped out into the hallway, Freddie turned the corner, meeting me halfway.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his head tilting with concern.
“I’m fine.” I forced a smile. “Really.”
His hand rose, his knuckles brushing over my cheek. “Glad to hear it.”
We both knew I wasn’t fine. But he didn’t ask, he didn’t press, and I really wanted to kiss him for it.
“Are you two done making out or what?” Sai shouted, standing at the end of the hallway with his eyes closed, apparently reading my mind.
I gaped at him. “What do you know about ‘making out’?”
As I followed behind Freddie into the kitchenette, Sai hopped back up onto his stool and said, “They’re always doing it in my moms’ shows. You know, like this.” When he raised his arms as if he held someone between them and stuck out his tongue, wiggling his head around and making amuahsound, Freddie and I burst into laughter.
“You’re right, Sai,” Freddie said, turning around to rummage through a cupboard. “Sunny and I were absolutely hugging the air and sticking our tongues out at each other. Thank goodness you missed it.”
Sai grimaced. “Gross.”
