But as her drakaina writhed inside her veins again with a tortured sensation, Layla knew it wasn’t the only truth she was hiding from herself.
Not by a long shot.
CHAPTER 2 – CONFESSION
As Layla broke to have suddenly exposed such a deeply disturbing truth, tears sliding down her cheeks, Rake slid calmly forward in the water, wrapping his strong arms around her. Layla let herself be cradled in Rake’s arms, pressed close to his firm, lean chest in the canyon pool as she cried. Gouged by tears, she shuddered with the force of all the hidden truths she was trying to hold in. But for the first time, she felt safe to simply cry in the arms of a friend, someone who didn’t judge her and wasn’t wrapped up in all the drama that had possessed her life this past year. As Layla cried in Rake’s arms, a confession came pouring out of her.
Cleansing her heart in a way she didn’t even know she’d needed.
“It’s just so much!” Layla gasped as Rake held her sweetly. “What if I can’t hold the Bind together? What if something happens and we all die, or one of us dies and the rest go insane? We came so close to that at Deep Harbor. Fury’s death almost shattered us! It was a fluke that I was able to thrust his drake back inside his body and re-start his heart! I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know how to get out of that situation, or when Hunter attacked. Hunter had us and I panicked! I couldn’t wield my magic to protect us and there was nothing I could do to stop him! Except that awful thing I did, which was worse than simply killing him.”
“Feeling helpless to powerful magic is something we all fear, Layla,” Rake spoke in a kind voice as he stroked her wet sable curls, cradling her. “Especially if that power is inside ourselves. But the solution to your fear is not to become rigid against it, but to open up more. To face your fear and let it flowthroughyou like the vast cosmos. You are far bigger than your fear, Layla. Even if you die and this life ends, that is not the end of you. Simply the end of a phase… from which you will one day return.”
“But I like this phase! Or at least I liked it until two weeks ago.” Layla choked with a sad laugh, feeling her Dragon gnash its fangs now as it coiled up deep inside her. “I love Adrian and Dusk, Reginald and Rhennic – even Fury! I like being with them, being a Dragon, having times of sweetness and love and heartache with them. I think so often of what our lives might be if we weren’t plagued by Hunter. I want that peace, so badly.”
“And yet, being thrust into the fire has tempered you and all your lovers into something that could not have been achieved without the forge.” Rake spoke with a knowing look as he pulled back, gazing down at her with a sweet sadness. “Through Hunter’s pushing, you are all discovering who you really are. And you discovered at Deep Harbor that you’re powerful. And that power is frightening when fully unleashed.”
“But why does it have to fucking suck so damn much?!” Layla seethed, wiping her nose on her wrist and rinsing it in the pool.
“Because trialsalwayssuck.” Rake chuckled, smoothing her damp curls. “Come on. Let me rub your feet as we talk. Your fears and truths are safe here; I am not one of your lovers and will never punish you for speaking them. Give me your foot and unburden your heart, Layla.”
Sitting back against the side of the natural pool in the bottom of the canyon, Rake reached out. Taking up one of Layla’s feet in his strong hands, he began to massage it. Layla sighed at his touch, settling back into a shallow niche in the mineral-rich water as he massaged her arch and ankle. Rake had put her water next to her upon the pool’s rim and she took it up, sipping the water crushed with lemon and mint. It was sweet and refreshing just like Rake’s touch, and Layla let herself relax into his attention as she watched the night.
Trying to process what she wanted to say.
Rake eased closer as he massaged her, watching her as he kneaded her foot. His touch was a soothing balm, sweet and strong like a professional masseuse. As Layla relaxed against the pool’s rim, Rake waited, his hands working in a smooth, steady rhythm. It lulled her, and taking a sip of her water again, Layla finally spoke.
“Sometimes I wish life could just go back to the way it was, when I thought I was human.”
“Go on,” Rake spoke, watching her with deep attention in his jade-green eyes as he moved up to her calf. “What does your heart need to say, Layla? What truths do you need to speak?”
“So much has changed for me in the past year,” Layla answered, digging into the part of her that was hurting, that wanted to continue in this life but was afraid to. Summoning her courage, she felt a brush of her drakaina’s warm scales against her insides, as if supporting her confession. “I’ve always loved adventure, but… this kind of adventure rolls me harder than I know how to deal with.”
“How so?” Rake asked kindly.
“I’ve never really been in life-or-death situations before,” Layla continued, processing why she was balking at re-opening her magic. “But now because of magic, everywhere I travel in the Twilight Realm seems full of unknowns. Scary unknowns. Like,am I going to surviveunknowns. The human world just wasn’t like that for me, not really.”
“And yet,” Rake countered, his green eyes alert, “you could die at any time in the human world from a gunshot or a mugging. There are plenty of places that are highly unsafe.”
“Yeah, but I’m generally not a target there.” Layla spoke, watching him as he moved to her other foot. “Here I am, because ofwhatI am. And because Hunter’s stalking me.”
“You’re powerful, Layla – extremely so.” Rake spoke with a knowing look. “As a Royal Dragon Bind, you’re more notorious than any other Royal Dragon out there, especially with the waves you’ve been making lately. You’re not terrified of Hunter, but you are terrified of re-opening your magics for Hunter’s use. Perhaps increasing your power does play into Hunter’s hands… but perhaps he pushes you because you have something he doesn’t. If we find a way to open your power back up, you could use that something for your own purposes rather than his. Your magic responds to your own heart and will, Layla, not Hunter’s. Everyone’s magic is thus.”
Rake’s words drew Layla up short as she considered that point. She’d never thought that perhaps she had something in her magics that Hunter didn’t have – and that it could potentially be used against him. It was a strong point towards figuring out a way to re-open her power, and Layla watched Rake now as he quietly massaged her.
“Maybe you’re right.” She spoke at last.
“Maybe I am.” Like a good friend, Rake was merely supportive as he moved to her other calf.Settling back, Layla absorbed the tepid heat from the pool, relaxing. Far above, the stars shone in the velvet sky and as Layla lay back, mulling over Rake’s point, she realized she felt safe in his company, telling him her fears. As he continued working, moving up from her calf to her knee and thigh, Layla closed her eyes with a smile, enjoying his touch.
She felt him smile back as his calm aura eased around her in the night. With a gentle tug behind her knee, Rake spoke. “Come on, there’s a shallow spot over here. I’ll do your back.”
“Okay.” Layla let herself be pulled through the water, moved to an area that was like a shallow bed of rock in the pool. As Layla stretched out on her front, crossing her hands beneath her cheek, it left her belly and breasts in the warm water but her back and ass out in the cool desert wind. Moving over, Rake took up a jar from the edge of the pool and unscrewed it, smoothing a balm over Layla’s back in long, flowing strokes. Cocoa or palm butter, it was scented with herbs like lavender that made Layla smile with delight. It lifted her heart, and as Rake’s strong hands began to massage her shoulders and back, she drifted under his touch.
“Do you do this for all your patrons back at the Hotel?” She murmured, deeply soothed.
“Massage? Some. Those who are my favorite patrons get my deepest attentions.” Rake spoke back, though Layla could hear a smile in his voice now. “Relax, Layla. Just settle in and enjoy it.”
Massaging her in deep, fluid strokes, Rake soothed her further as his breath found her lips. Once again, Layla found herself straying out to the universe as he worked. She hadn’t even realized Rake was using his breath on her until she saw stars all around her in a vast void again; so vivid that she felt like she could reach out and touch them. All around, the universe spun in its endless dance as Layla entered a new meditative trance. As she drifted in that vast space, she watched stars being born and die. She watched the slow spin of galaxies, though she could feel how fast they truly moved. She felt comets pass in blazing trails of light and heard the deep inhalation of black holes. It was so immense, Layla felt minuscule in the black.
