I was more terrified than I’d ever been.
30
Lucas
I wandered into the kitchen the next morning and tossed my keys and phone on the counter by the fridge. After I’d left Mazzie’s house, I drove around all night and ended up at the lake. I’d needed time alone to think about how to raise a child—job, living arrangements—and how to break the news to my mom, Ryker, and Coach.
Coach Chapman had done so much for me over the years. He would have some sound advice. This was one of those times I really wished I had a father who’d been more involved in my life. I missed Ryker’s dad, Mr. James. I would give anything to talk to him right now.
I stood at the sliding glass door and looked out at the branches of the oak trees. They seemed to be swaying, or maybe I was dizzy from not sleeping.
Ryker’s voice filtered into my ears. “Yes, Coach. I’ll tell him.” His footsteps grew louder. “Lucas, there you are. Where have you been? Coach has been trying to reach you. He talked to his buddies who work security at the casino about Shane. Did you set up the meeting with Shane yet?”
I’d seen the message from Coach, but I was done caring about Shane, the money, my father, or anything related to Kurtis’s drama. I could see Ryker coming closer by his reflection in the glass.
“Lucas,” he said again. That time, he sounded concerned.
Inhaling, I turned around. “I heard you.”
Ryker’s eyebrows shot toward his hairline. “What happened? You look like hell. Have you been crying?”
I pushed out a bitter laugh. I was afraid to tell him. Afraid if I did, everything would become real, and I wanted to keep thinking I was dreaming. That when I woke up, Mazzie wouldn’t be pregnant.
My best friend knew me inside and out as though we were brothers by blood. He scrutinized me like he was studying a key football play for the game next weekend.
“I fucked up,” I muttered. “Royally.”
He clutched the back of his neck. “Bro, please tell me you did not go to the casino and confront Shane Blackwood. Though I don’t see any fresh cuts or bruises.”
On shaky legs, I pulled out a chair and sat at the table. “Worse.”
Ryker leaned against the island and waited impatiently for me to say something. “Seriously, man, what’s going on? You’re freaking me out.”
I shoved both hands through my hair. “Mazzie… She’s pregnant.”
He closed his eyes briefly. “Fuck.”
“I should’ve worn a condom. I keep going back to the night after the pep rally and every night since, kicking myself in the ass. She said she was on birth control.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Was she on birth control?”
I bobbed my head. “Implant. It expired. She didn’t realize it. But I’m at fault. I always use a condom.”
He folded his big body in a chair adjacent to me. “You can’t keep beating yourself up. You need to move forward.”
“I don’t know how to do that.”
“Does Mazzie want to keep it?”
I shrugged. “Not sure.”
“Do you?” he asked.
“At this moment, maybe. Part of me is saying we need to accept it. Just because we’re not ready doesn’t mean we should terminate her pregnancy. But the decision weighs heavily on her. It’s her body.”
“I’m not the person to give you any advice,” he said. “As much as I want a family, Haven and I aren’t ready. At this moment, all you can do is be there for Mazzie. Support her no matter the decision she makes. You love her, right?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t abandon her. Never.” I sighed. “But I don’t know the first thing about being a father.”
