My heart. My life. My resolve.
My gaze landed on him hard and fast as I popped to my feet, quickly moving away from him, because if he kissed me, I would cave.
Before I could take a breath, he had me backed up against the railing. Then a darkness washed over him as his fingers brushed the bruise on my arm. His whole body went rigid, his jaw clenched tight.
“I’m not like Josh.” He rested his forehead against mine like he needed the contact to keep his temper in check.
“I know that,” I said softly.
“Then why are you pushing me away?” His lips found my ear, teasing, nibbling, pulling a shiver straight down my spine.
A whimper escaped me. “Lucas, don’t.” I pressed my chest into his, static scrambling my brain. Forgetting why I was pushing him away.
“See how you tremble when I’m this close to you? I bet if I slipped my hand under your skirt, I would find that you’re dripping wet.”
My breath hitched, caught somewhere between a moan and a curse. I hated how right he was, how my body contradicted everything I’d said to him.
His thumb traced my bottom lip, and I had to fight the urge to suck it into my mouth.
I slid to the side and put distance between us. My skin felt cold without his heat, and I wrapped my arms around myself. “This is exactly why I can’t do this with you. You make me…” I trailed off, not wanting to admit how he disarranged my thoughts, made me forget everything I was working toward.
“Make you what?” He turned to face me with that infuriating confidence. Like he already knew the answer.
“Men don’t factor into my plan,” I said in a small voice. “I have a sister to take care of, a mother in jail, my premed classes aren’t easy, and I can’t have distractions.” The weight of that statement falling off my shoulders had me sighing heavily.
Something shifted in his expression, the cockiness fading into something softer. “Midnight?—”
I raised my hands. “Don’t look at me like that. Like you understand. You’re breezing through college with football. You don’t work two jobs to make sure you have money to support a loved one. I can’t fail my classes. If I do, my dad will revoke my tuition money.” I had to be resolute. I had to be responsible. And Lucas Allen was a drug that could destroy everything I cared about.
“You assume too much,” he said, running a hand through his blond strands. “You’re not the only one struggling. You’re not the only one with dreams. Hell, I’m not asking you to marry me. Just to give us a chance.”
My sense of control teetered on the edge, with him regarding me like I was the sun, moon, and stars.
I rubbed my hands down my skirt to regain my composure, which had shattered.
“Fuck, Mazzie.” He was in front of me in a flash. “You don’t know what you do to me. I promised myself that I wouldn’t have a steady relationship in college. Yet here I am wanting that with you. I know you want the same thing.” His raspy Southern drawl caressed my skin like melted honey on warm bread.
My carefully constructed plan didn’t care about how good someone looked in worn jeans or how their voice could compel you to forget your own name.
He sighed and spun on his heel, ready to walk away.
“I don’t want to be another notch on your bedpost,” I rushed to say.
His shoulders lifted as he turned. “There it is. That’s what you’re afraid of.”
I was afraid of wanting him more than he wanted me.
“You are the campus golden boy who has a different girl every night.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “And you believe everything you hear as the truth? Then you’re not the girl I thought you were.” He frowned, studied me for long seconds, then left.
I collapsed on the bench, blinking away tears.
He was supposed to be the guy who forgot my name the next morning, who moved on to the next conquest without a backward glance. That was what made him safe—no strings.
But nothing about Lucas was safe.
I sat there for about five minutes practicing yoga breathing when my phone rang. I fished it out of my purse and answered the call from Lakemont University, thinking it was probably the purser’s office about my tuition payment. My dad had been known to send in the check late.
