Mazzie
A sticky sweetness of humidity clung to my skin as Lucas and I strolled along the winding path around the clubhouse. I couldn’t believe I would be working at a ritzy country club. The hourly pay was better than the casino job, and with tips, I could make more money. I was grateful to Justine for calling Miles. Apparently, the country club was booked solid for the rest of year with weddings, baby showers, and two charity events.
“If Justine vouches for you, that’s all I need,” Miles, the head of the waitstaff, had said. Then he’d hired me on the spot.
I felt completely out of my element at a rich establishment like this, but a job was a job.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, trying to break the tension as I stole glances at the man who was pulling at my heartstrings.
The golden afternoon light caught the stubble on his jaw, which was clenched as though he was bracing for impact.
“Lunch with my mom. You?”
I couldn’t remember the last time I had a meal with my mom. “I was just offered a job working weddings, birthday parties, and other types of events.”
“Congrats. That’s awesome.” His Adam’s apple bobbed.
Colorful flowers lined the path as live oak trees rustled in the distance.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” he asked.
Oh, how I was an emotional mess. How he was changing me in ways that I didn’t want to acknowledge. He was safe, warm, steady, solid—everything I wanted but couldn’t afford. I was afraid if I ever admitted that my heart hurt when I wasn’t near him or that his protective nature was something I craved, I would lose myself, and I couldn’t take the road less traveled.
I inhaled a quiet breath, breathing in the sweet smells of jasmine and honeysuckle wafting in the air along with the crisp scent of Lucas’s cologne. “I’m sorry for running out of your truck. I was rude, and you didn’t deserve that.”
Since he’d dropped me at Bailey’s the other night, Lucas had been on my mind constantly. Bailey kept urging me to talk to him, to tell him how I felt and what I was up against. To be honest with him.
“I know you’re going through a tough time with your mom,” he said. “No need to apologize.”
Tension followed us the rest of the way, and every step toward the gazebo felt like I was walking toward the edge of a cliff as I mentally practiced the next topic I needed to discuss—us.
My mom believed in fairy tales, in men like Lucas, in romance and love, and now, she was sitting in jail. I promised myself I wouldn’t follow in her footsteps, but as the gazebo came into view, flashes of nights where my mom got ready for yet another date danced before me. I saw the hope in her smile and the dreamy look in her eyes that signaled she thought the latest guy could be her knight in shining armor, and I heard her words—“This one’s different, Mazzie. This one could be the one.” Always the same words. Always the same disappointment.
I let go of Lucas, removed my heels that were killing me, and stepped off the limestone path onto the cool, soft grass that rolled down to the lake and surrounded the gazebo on two sides. Hooking my fingers into the tops of my heels, I sighed as my feet thanked me for the soft carpet beneath them.
Lucas chuckled, stiff and cautious as though he knew what I was about to say.
I dragged my feet through the grass, dewy and damp blades tickling my toes, my mind searching for how to start the conversation. But the fairy-tale setting—white gazebo where wedding pictures were taken, the backdrop of the lake ahead, the amphitheater off in the distance—was masking my thoughts. I was kicking myself for suggesting this spot to talk. It was too perfect, too romantic, and only served to screw with my head. But after Miles had given me the tour of the property, I’d fallen in love with the place, imagining a wedding of my own here one day. But that was a pipe dream.
Lucas walked along the path, his gaze on me. “It’s my turn to say I’m sorry.”
I faltered when we reached the gazebo. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”
His copper eyes shimmered in the sunlight as he climbed into the gazebo with me. “Yes, I have. I was suffocating you that night in my truck. Insisting you tell me about your relationship with Josh. That’s none of my business.”
I set my shoes and bag on the bench and sat down while he kept his distance, sitting across from me.
Nerves rattled every part of my being as I started. “Thank you for that.” I tangled my hands in my lap. “I might be jumping the gun, but I need to get this off my chest so you know where I stand.”
He leaned his elbows on his knees, his massive biceps bunching. “I’m listening.”
“Remember the night at your house when I said no strings? I meant it, Lucas. I can’t do the friends with benefits thing either. Friends? Yes. Anything more. I can’t. I’m not one for relationships. I don’t do love. I don’t even know what that word means. Besides, my life is too messy and complicated. I know we never talked about dating or anything, but I needed to get that off my chest. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression, and I think I did.”
He harrumphed. “Since we’re being honest, you’re lying to yourself.” Hurt rode his tone. “And maybe I came off too strong and that reminded you of Josh, but your body language around me tells a completely different story than the words that just came out of your mouth.” He stood to his full height. “But I appreciate your honesty, Midnight.”
Goddammit. That nickname gave me the freaking goose bumps, and he knew exactly how to get a reaction out of me.
“Tell me. What are you afraid of?”
