I couldn’t bear to feel or see his pain, so I said, “Have you confirmed if Rianne’s bite was the cause?”
He straightened and slipped his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. “Yes. Her saliva is highly toxic, which didn’t show up in our last round of testing. Understand that each human subject has different genetics that will affect the outcome of how the serum reacts in them. Also, the genetic mutations in these creatures are constantly changing, hence the physical appearance over time as well as the dynamics of increased strength, the changes in the brain, the blood, the saliva, and even the heart. Much like Edmund’s first guinea pig, Blake Turner. Remember him, Sam?”
It was hard to forget that asshole. He’d been Jo’s human nemesis in high school, bullying her every day. Edmund thought it would be a gas to have Jo’s enemy turned into a monster to kill my sister. While Blake’s transformation might be similar, there was one difference—the concoction my uncle Patrick whipped up consisted of only my DNA, not a shifter’s.
“Was Blake’s bite deadly?” I asked.
“No,” Dr. Vieira said. “But Patrick’s potion didn’t include shifter DNA.” Doc hunched his shoulders. “Still, when I do a complete autopsy on Rianne, I believe I’ll find similarities between her and Blake—changes to the brain, heart, and other organs. I don’t want to bore you with the details.” He took my hands and squeezed. “Again, I am so very sorry.”
I wrapped my arms around him. There was a whole cast of characters who had a hand in Layla’s death, and I might even question myself. I shouldn’t have left her alone. I should’ve had a guard on her. But none of that hindsight would bring her back.
He blinked away tears. “I’ve moved Layla into a birthing suite for now. After you say your final goodbye, I’ll need to preserve her body until you decide on funeral arrangements.”
Nausea hit me again. Funeral? Burying her? No fucking way. I couldn’t deal.
Dane, who’d been quiet, asked, “Is Dr. Hammond still in the building?” Whether or not he was making small talk to give me time to catch my breath, I welcomed the distraction.
“She just left,” Doc said. “She’s staying in a guesthouse with Greta.”
I glanced over the lab bench to Jordyn’s empty room. “Where’s Jordyn?”
“She couldn’t stay here. She’s at Jo’s house. Your sister insisted she would take care of her.”
Jordyn was grieving as much as I was, but I was glad she wasn’t here. If anyone’s emotions would bother me the most, they were hers.
“Come on, dude,” Dane said, strutting toward the entrance to the new wing.
Once he and I left Doc, so many memories bombarded me as we passed the scrub and operating rooms. I’d sat in this very hallway with Tripp, listening to my babies being born, hearing a nurse say Layla wasn’t breathing. She’d died during childbirth that day. But a miracle had happened then. Not this time.
“I don’t think I can see her,” I mumbled.
Dane gave me a sidelong glance. “I’m serious. I’ll hold your hand. But if you tell anyone, I’ll kick your bloodsucking ass.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. It was the medication I needed to keep my legs moving until we were at the door of the birthing suite, and I was looking at Layla’s lifeless body on a gurney in the middle of the room.
I swallowed thickly and turned around to leave when Dane took my hand.
I jerked my teary-eyed gaze toward him.
“I told you. I got you.” He guided me inside. “You need to say your piece, Sam. Otherwise, you’ll regret it.” He sounded as though he was speaking from experience. I imagined he was. He’d lost his parents and now his brother, Ross.
As we stood alongside the gurney, my heart thundered in my chest like a captive beast wanting to get free, to kill Rianne all over again. Only, instead of snapping her neck, I was desperate for another chance to torture the fuck out of her. To make her suffer like I was doing now.
Dane circled the gurney to the other side and kissed Layla on the cheek. “You were one of the toughest women I knew. Wherever the afterlife takes you, give them hell.” He nodded at me. “I’ll give you space. You got this. I’ll check on you later.”
As much as I wanted him to stay, I needed to say my goodbyes alone. I sighed heavily, the air in the room stifling and suffocating.
Despite the scratches etched onto my wife’s skin, the patches of burn marks, and her wounded ear, she was breathtakingly beautiful even in death.
“How did we get to this point, baby doll? I am gutted, angry, shocked, and I don’t know how I’m going to live without you. I hope that by the time our children understand, I can tell them how you died or even talk about your death.” I kissed the back of her cold hand. “I will always have you with me no matter where I go.” Tears spilled freely as I inhaled a much-needed breath. “My love for you is immortal, and I will never love anyone again. Wherever you are, save me a spot next to you. I’m sure one day, we’ll meet again.” I traced a path over her eyebrows and nose, then kissed her on the lips as I bawled.
The longer I lingered, the harder it was to leave her. But if I didn’t get out of this room, I would stab myself in the heart with a cobalt dagger until it burned to ash.
Remember your children, my inner voice supplied.They need a father.
I stood up taller, wiped my eyes, and rebooted my brain. After one last lingering look, I hurried into the hallway, taking in deep breaths. My legs were shaky, my stomach was knotted, and I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. I couldn’t leave her. I was nothing without her.
I slid down the wall until I was in a crouched position and shoved my hands through my hair.
