Angel could barely answer. “I don’t know what to do. I never thought Tommy wouldn’t want this life any longer. It’s everything to me. He’s everything to me. I can’t imagine going on without him. I can’t imagine Immortal Angel being over.” He felt as if a cannon ball hit him in the gut and buckshot tore through his chest. The physical pain prevented him from sitting upright, so his upper body was folded in half, practically resting on his thighs. His arms wrapped around his waist to ward off the nausea, and he stared at the carpet. “My heart is broken.”
“So is mine.” Damien snapped. “I remember when it was just you and me. Even before Jimmy. Immortal Angel. That’s us. You’re Angel, and I’m immortal. Remember? We were still teenagers when we started this band. We had so many dreams and swore nothin’ was gonna get in our way.”
“Nothing did.”
Damien stopped walking back and forth and stood in front of Angel. “We don’t have to stop playing just because Tommy doesn’t want to do this anymore. Why are you acting like it’s over?”
Angel squeezed his eyes shut in hopes of sealing in the pain, but it was too great, and his voice cracked. “Because I lost my best friend.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
Angel rose to his feet. “I made this journey with Tommy. My partner. My husband. It meant the world to me that we rode to the top together. You saw how much better I was because of him. His presence on stage pushed me to be a better singer. A better performer. A better songwriter. We pushed boundaries. And all of it was because of Tommy. We drove the fans crazy with our on-stage antics. Don’t you remember?”
“Of course, I remember.” Damien’s anger and frustration dissipated, and he displayed a nostalgic smile as he looked off into the distance. “I remember playing The Quadrangle on a Saturday night. I remember the way the two of you used to grope one another on stage and the way the fans in the bar went crazy over it. That’s when punk rock was dangerous. Black eyes and bashed teeth meant everyone had a great time.”
Every moment of Immortal Angel’s early days were ingrained in Angel’s head and in his heart. He and Tommy fell in love on stage. Music is what pushed them together. Without Tommy, there was no drive. The band had been Angel’s main focus for as long as he could remember. Without Tommy, it had no meaning. A huge part of Angel’s life had been ripped away, and he mourned it profusely.
Unable to stand any longer, as if the strength had been drained from his limbs, he fell back onto the couch. The loss was too much to bear, and emotion took a toll on every part of his body. His eyes watered and his vision blurred. “I can’t,” he choked out.
“You can’t, what?”
Angel looked up at Damien, and two hot tears rolled down his cheeks. “I can’t do this without him.”
Damien let out a breath and gritted his teeth. “You may have to because Immortal Angel isn’t dead. We worked too hard to get here. I ain’t throwin’ it away. Neither are you.”
“I don’t want to throw it away. That’s the last thing I want to happen. But my heart.” Angel clutched at his chest. “My heart. It hurts too much.”
Jessi’s voice snapped Angel out of his flashback. “Angel, what is it? What’s wrong?”
She wiped a tear from his cheek that he didn’t know had fallen. The look of concern and worry on Jessi’s face made Angel want to let go and cry in her arms. But he couldn’t do that. He needed to be strong. For everyone. “I’m fine.” He motioned to the display outside. “It’s just a little too much to take in. That’s all.”
Her shoulders fell, and her brow wrinkled further. “Are you sure you’re OK?”
“I’m sure.” He gave her a bittersweet smile, sure that she saw right through it.
Tommy returned to the car, still holding the card from the fan. “Read this.” He handed it to Jessi. “I’m still so taken aback by it. By all of it.”
Jessi’s face filled with emotion as she read the words the fan left for Tommy, then she handed the note back to him. “That’s beautiful.”
They drove the remainder of the distance to the house in silence. Jessi kept making eye contact with Angel, but she never said anything. She didn’t need to. Everything was spoken with her eyes. She was silently assessing Tommy’s reaction to the card and the display and wondering—hoping—it triggered a yearning to return to the stage.
The limo stopped in front of the mansion, which was a welcomed sight after being away so long. It conjured up warm feelings of home and comfort, and Angel couldn’t wait to get inside.
He and Tommy scooped up the kids, who had fallen asleep on the ride home, while Jessi retrieved her tote bag from the trunk. Security would be by shortly with the rest of their luggage from the airport.
The moment Angel entered the marble foyer, a smile spread across his face, and the pieces of his heart magically fell back together—for the time being. He exchanged long, happy gazes with Tommy and Jessi, who were just as excited to be home. The lengthy vacation was nice, but it felt good to be back.
“I missed this place,” Tommy was the first to announce, and both Angel and Jessi agreed.
They paused to look around, as if familiarizing themselves with their possessions.
Both kids woke when they were set down on the couch and rubbed weary eyes. When they realized they were home, they ran upstairs, probably to retrieve some of the toys that they missed over the last couple of months.
It reminded Angel of the thing he missed the most—his kitchen—and he headed straight for it. It was pristine, without the usual utensils or cutting boards or baskets of fresh fruit and herbs that were always present during and after preparing a meal. He ran his hand over the marble counter and the surface of the enormous center island. He envisioned some of the grand dishes he’d made for his family and extended family in this space and decided to call everyone together for dinner tomorrow night. He’d do it tonight if he had time, but food preparation wasn’t something that could be rushed. Although he still had prepared the occasional gourmet meal in their villa in Bora Bora, utilizing some of the magnificent freshly caught fish, nothing compared to using your own knives and cookware in a space that was familiar.
Footsteps sounded on the floor as Jessi and Tommy joined him at the center island.
“Put the TV on,” Jessi said. “Let’s see what all the signs and flowers at the gate are about.”
