CHAPTER FIVE
Traviswoke to a cold sweat covering his body. His heart raced and his breath came in short quick gulps of air. He looked around the room, disoriented by the darkness, until he recognized the hotel room. He’d actually fallen asleep. The last thing he remembered, before the nightmare woke him, was staring at the ceiling. He’d been going over lyrics in his head, but not liking any enough to jot them downin the notebook he still clutched in his fist. The metal coil that bound the pages together pressed into his palm like razors about to slice open his hand. He released it and flexed his fingers, eyeing the bright red indentions embedded in his palm, as the dream slowly came back to him. Squeezing his eyes shut tightly, he shook his head to eradicate the thoughts and images. They weren’t going toconsume him. Not tonight. Too much was at stake with this tour, and he vowed to leave the bullshit of his past behind.
Going back to sleep was impossible. He slowly sat up and let his legs dangle from the side of the mattress. Ricky’s snoring in the next bed sent a low rumble in the otherwise silent room. Travis debated on whether to sit on the balcony or take a walk outside. He decidedhe needed to get the fuck out of the room, and he threw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, locked his notebook in his suitcase, and left.
He pressed the call button for the elevator and stepped into the car as soon as it arrived, not realizing that it was going up instead of down. His eyes gravitated toward the top button with the letter “P” on the control panel. Without thinking,he pressed it. There were only two rooms on the penthouse floor, and he knew exactly which one belonged to Bulletproof. The twin bodyguards in front of the hotel room door may as well have been a neon sign.
Travis approached the door, and then hesitated. He didn’t have the courage to knock. He had no right to show up unannounced in the middle of the night. He couldn’t wake up everyonein the suite. He barely knew them. He didn’t even know Derek that well, although he was drawn to the man. There was an invisible pull, a tie that made Travis feel like they were meant to find one another. Having never experienced anything like it, he couldn’t describe the kinship he felt, or the undeniable attraction he had for Derek, or why he couldn’t stop thinking about the man.
“Can I help you?” one of the bodyguards asked sternly.
“No.” He felt like an idiot, and regretted his decision to go to Derek’s room. He should have taken a walk or climbed up on the roof of the tour bus and stared at the stars. “I was gonna visit Derek, but I didn’t realize how late it was.”
“Do you want me to give him a message?”
“No. I’m just gonna takea walk.” He took two steps toward the elevator when the door to the suite opened.
“Travis?”
Derek stepped into the hallway, his long hair tousled around his face and over his shoulders. Travis’ gaze immediately went to the slab of flesh above the loose-fitting sweatpants that fell across Derek’s hips, revealing a luscious line of dark hair that disappeared underneaththe gray flannel material.
Travis gulped. His eyes traveled up the chiseled abs, over Derek’s chest and the array of black and gray tattoos that covered Derek’s pecs and both arms.
“I thought I heard you,” Derek said.
“I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”
“No. I was thirsty, so I got up to get something to drink. I heard voices in the hallway so I putmy ear to the door.” He gave a little smile and shrugged one shoulder. “I’m a nosey fuck, what can I say? What’s up? Do you want to come in?”
Still regretting his decision to show up unexpectedly, but also wanting to stay, Travis wasn’t sure how to answer. “It’s OK. It’s late. I’ll just—”
“Get the hell in here.” Derek took a few short steps toward Travis, grabbed himby the wrist and pulled him into the suite.
They went to the kitchen, where Derek took two bottles of water from the fridge and gave one to Travis. Derek took a sip, and his face brightened. “Mmm.” He read the bottle. “Coconut water? When did they make water delicious?”
This guy was too fucking cute.
“Are you just coming home now, after a night out?” Derekasked, before taking a big gulp of the water.
“No. I couldn’t sleep. I, um, had a bad dream and needed to take a walk. I know it was really presumptuous of me to come here.” He silently berated himself, embarrassed at sounding like a child afraid of the monsters that lurked in the dark. “I’m sorry. I didn’t plan on coming to your room. I got on the elevator, and the next thing I knew,I was standing behind your door.” Like a fucking idiot.
“I’m glad you did.” Derek extended his bottle of water toward the living room. “Let’s sit on the couch.”
Travis followed, trying not to gawk at the amenities in the luxurious suite. He fell into the couch, and the cushions enveloped him with comfort. The soft woven cotton felt like something you’d find in a high-enddepartment store, and a vague memory of jumping on and off a sofa in a furniture store when he was a kid briefly flashed across his mind – until a hand had yanked him out of the store by his hair. He suddenly became aware that Derek said something to him and was waiting for a reply. “What?”
“What was your bad dream about?”
“Oh. It doesn’t matter.”
“It helps to talk about it sometimes. Once you say it out loud or tell somebody about it, you stop thinking about it.”
Without being pushy, Derek was coaxing Travis to talk about the nightmare, and Travis really appreciated the discretion. He had no intention of telling Derek about his nightmare,though. He wanted to forget about the fucked up shit that his brain didn’t want to let go of. He didn’t want to dwell on the sadness that sometimes invaded his soul. He didn’t know if the dire thoughts that haunted him were the result of circumstance or a bad seed planted in his mind, a building block for him to hurdle at every turn. Shit kept banging on the inside of his skull, trying to breakfree, and wouldn’t let him rest. Maybe Derek was right and the memories needed to be validated by speaking them out loud, instead of being locked away and pretending they never existed.
Derek cupped his palm over Travis’ hand and massaged it gently.
The small gesture of reassurance made Travis relax, and he sat back on the couch.
Pulling one leg underneathhim, Derek turned a quarter of the way, so he could face Travis.
