“No one else,” she confirms.
“Why not?” I choke out. I’m heartbroken that my best friend felt like she had to hide such a big part of herself from me.
“I think you know,” Aspen whispers.
I can understand her concern with privacy from her family, but me? I’m her best friend, she should know I would have never judged her. Was she worried that I would? Or maybe that it would change things between us? “Why didn’t you tell me?” I question desperately.
But maybe I already know that answer too. I might have taken over ten years to examine how I felt about my best friend, but as I look at her now, staring back at me with so much fear in her eyes, like she’s on the edge of heartbreak waiting for me to put the final nail in the coffin, I have the horrible realization that I might have been the only one who was so clueless.
“I think you know,” Aspen repeats as a whisper.
All this time, all the kisses, the late nights sharing our secrets and wildest hopes for our futures. Every hour we spent supporting and encouraging those dreams to help turn them into our reality.
It was never just for fun. Nothing has ever been meaningless between us. How could I have ever thought those things?
Every moment that I’ve ever spent with Aspen has been fun, but that doesn’t make it meaningless. It means…everything. Because Aspen means everything to me. She’s beenthe center of my world since I met her. The person who makes me happier than anyone else ever could.
I’m not wasting another second.
I bring the hand that she isn’t clutching up to cup her cheek, wiping away a tear that escaped with my thumb.
And then I lean in to kiss her.
19
ASPEN
Holy fucking shit.
Sage is kissing me. After I think I came out to her and very heavily implied that I have feelings for her. Is this really happening? The feel of her soft lips moving with mine seems very real. The sweet way she tentatively licks in between them, like she’s asking for permission for more, is different from any of the kisses I remember us sharing.
Because thisisdifferent. There’s no alcohol to blame or give us courage. There’s no audience to put on a show for.
This is just us. Kissing for real, for the first time.
My best friend, my favorite person in the entire world, my dream girl is moving to straddle me as I open my mouth to let her deepen the kiss. I thought she would be hurt that I’d lied for so long. I worried she would be angry that I’d kissed her so many times without telling her thetruth about how I felt. I’ve imagined telling Sage a million times over the years, in a million different ways. But none of them ended like this.
I’d never dared to hope she might want me too.
I wrap my arms around her, pulling her closer to me. I never want us to be apart again. I’m consumed by Sage. All my senses are overwhelmed by the euphoria she’s inspiring in me. I run one hand up her back as I move the other into her hair, gripping the soft strands tightly. Her lavender coconut scent calms me like it always does. The soft moan she lets out as I drag her bottom lip between my teeth is the most pornographic sound I’ve ever heard. The taste of her on my lips is even more addicting than it was all those years ago,because this is finally real.
My thong is fucking soaked from how wet I already am. I’ve never been more turned on in my life. Sage is squirming in my lap, grinding down onto me. I spread my legs apart, leaning back against the couch as we continue to make out, taking turns nipping and licking and sucking each other’s lips. I arch my hips up toward her, seeking any friction I can to soothe the ache in my throbbing clit.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Oakley demands, the sound of his voice like a bucket of ice water being dumped over me with how surprised I am.
Sage scrambles off me but she doesn’t go far, still sitting right next to me on the couch. “Oh, hi! Sorry, we must not have heard you come in,” I say, in what I hope is a normal tone as I look between Oakley and Parker guiltily.
“No shit. I mean why the fuck were you two hooking up?” Oakley asks.
Sage is quiet next to me on the couch, and as I jump to stand, I notice a dazed expression on her face as she slowly lifts her fingertips to her lips. I want to check in with her, see what she’s thinking after what we just did, but Oakley seems pissed, and I need Parker to help me calm him down before we do anything else.
I’d also love to not have an audience for that discussion.
So I rush over to Parker and grab his hand. “I swear I didn’t initiate that,” I whisper. I don’t want him to think I lied to him. When he first agreed to our fake relationship, I never believed Sage would kiss me. I need to know where her head is at right now. If that was some sort of experiment or if I might actually have a shot at something real with her. “Can you give us a few minutes to talk? Maybe fill Oakley in and then we’ll all sit down and figure out what’s going on?” I suggest.
“Or,” Oakley cuts in loudly, “the four of us can stay right here and all talk together, because we just caught you fucking cheating on us. You can have all the time you want after we end things.”
I can’t hide my surprise at how upset he seems. I’ve always suspected he and Parker were into each other, and their kiss was full of a passion that can’t be faked.
