I’ve almost done it plenty of times now. But it’s complicated;Aspen is with Parker, and the four of us spend a lot of time together. I don’t want drama between Oakley and me to cause problems in their relationship.
I wish I knew how she felt. If she wants to kiss me again as badly as I want her to. If she would want to do more.
I wonder what Aspen is like in bed. I shift my position on the couch, crossing my legs and squeezing my thighs together in an attempt to find some relief for the sudden throbbing in between them as I picture her in her expensive lingerie with her nipple piercings demanding my attention. Unlike me, she’s always been so private about her hookups. I have no idea what she’s into, so my imagination is running wild.
Being with Parker now is the first serious relationship she’s ever been in, and I don’t think I’ve even seen them kiss; that’s how modest she is. He can be pretty quirky too, so maybe he’s even more private than she is.
But… that doesn’t seem right either. He wasn’t very private when he was grinding into Oakley, trying to take control that night.
Their kiss was intense.
I gasp suddenly.
Loudly enough that Aspen obviously hears, since she turns to me, asking, “What’s wrong?”
Have I really never seen them kiss? I scan my memory of all the times Oakley and I kissed in front of them, all the double dates, and all the nights we’ve spent hanging out in our building.
Holy shit.
I’ve never seen them do more than hold hands, and even that’s rare.
“Do you and Parker kiss?” I blurt out, turning to face her fully now.
Her eyes go comically wide and her mouth falls open for a moment before she blinks a few times and smiles awkwardly. “What kind of question is that? He’s my boyfriend,” she says, but her voice is shaky, like she’s lying.
Oh my God. Are they even together?
“Is he, though?” I hear myself asking in an accusatory tone, and she startles away from me a bit. “Shit, sorry that sounded angry,” I rush to add, reaching out to gently put a hand on her arm. “I was just thinking about how I’ve never seen you two kiss, but he was so passionate with Oakley…” I trail off as I realize I’ve brought up the night we’ve never talked about.
“Are you jealous? Are you worried that he might have feelings for Oakley?” she asks, taking my hand in hers now.
“What? No.” I dismiss quickly.
But she must not believe me. “Because if you are worried,” she continues, “you should know that I asked Parker directly and he denied?—”
“I wasn’t even thinking about Oakley!” I interrupt. I feel my cheeks heat at my outburst. Aspen is staring at me now, brows furrowed as her gaze searches my face. I’m not sure what she’s looking for, but I take a deep breath to try to gather some courage. We’ve already gone this far. I can’tcontinue to obsess over every interaction Aspen and I have ever had without telling her the truth about what I’m feeling.
Maybe it’s time I admit that I don’t really give a shit about who my boyfriend kisses, because I’d much rather kiss her instead.
“Sage, what is it?” she softly asks, giving my hand a squeeze.
“I…” I try to get the words out, but my throat is tight. I need to know one thing first. “Are you and Parker really together?” I ask again.
“Sage,” she begs, holding my hand tightly now, like she’s afraid I’ll pull away. The way she says my name is an answer in itself, like she’s pleading with me not to make her say it.
“Why pretend?” I whisper. And she lets out a choked sob, shaking her head as blinks away tears. “I thought we told each other everything,” I add.
“Sage, I’m so sorry, I should have told you years ago,” she says, still gripping my hand.
Years ago?They’ve only been dating for a few months. What would she have told me years ago?
But Aspen not dating isn’t new.
She’s never had a boyfriend.
But it’s not like she’s ever had a girlfriend either. Right?
“Anna?” I question, not needing to explain my entire line of thinking as Aspen nods apologetically. “Anyone else?” I ask, wondering how I could havebeen so blind.
