Living alone is very strange. I miss having you around all the time.
I hit send before I can second-guess how needy that might have sounded.It’s Aspen, I don’t need to filter myself with her, even if I have been so self-conscious about our friendship lately.Luckily I don’t have to wait long before she responds.
Aspen
I can’t imagine! I don’t think I’ve actually been alone outside of the bathroom since I got to NYC, LOL. Miss you too!
Something settles in my chest at the confirmation that she also misses me. I sink onto the barstool at the kitchen island and take what feels like my first normal breath all day.See, I have nothing to worry about.
Sage
Are you free to call? I miss your voice too.
Aspen
It might be a little loud, but sure!
I hit the call button and Aspen answers on the second ring. “Hey! How’s the lab?” I can tell there are people talking in the background, but have no trouble hearing Aspen. She sounds excited to chat, which elevates my mood even more.
“It’s good, we’re working on sequencing elecampane right now which is fascinating, but I wish we were closer,” I admit, unable to hold back where my thoughts have been focusing.
“Me too,” Aspen agrees. “But the summer is flying by, right? I can’t believe there’s only a few weeks left!”
I can’t believe there’sstilla few weeks left. I feel like we haven’t seen each other in years instead of the little over the month it’s actually been. “Yeah,” I weakly agree, attempting to rein in my negativity. “Are you sure you don’t want me to visit before then?” I ask, unable to stop myself from hoping that her previous answer had magically changed.
“I’m sorry, Sage, I just don’t think it would be worth it for how little free time I actually have. Even after work and on the weekends, we go out and network with industry people. You’d be so bored.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right.” I sigh, trying to hold back tears at what feels like a crushing rejection, no matter how illogical that may be. I want to believe Aspen’s reasoning, but I can’t stop the worry from returning that something has changed. The voices in the background are louder for a moment before I hear Aspen say something that’s muffled, so I assume she’s covering the phone.
“Hey, sorry, I didn’t realize it was almost time to go. Anna and I met one of the people who’s making the costumes for that new Broadway show last night, and they said we could come by their studio today. I’ll have to talk to you later,” she promises, sounding genuinely bummed about cutting the call short, even if the excitement over where she’s going bleeds through.
“That’ll be amazing, have fun,” I say, trying my best to cover up the disappointment I’m feeling.
“Thanks, Sage, miss you!” she rushes before the call ends.
I would never want to hold Aspen back from her dreams. But the more time we spend apart, the more obvious it becomes that a big part of my own dream is to remain in the same city as her. I’m not an idiot. I know we can’t be roommates forever, that we’ll probably end up in relationships and eventually settle down and live apart. But we can do that and still be neighbors, still be best friends. Aspen is the kind of friend that I want around for the rest of my life. I feel like I’m not truly myself when she isn’t near. I’m planning to get a master’s degree, but I’m sure that whatever big city Aspen ends up in will have a university I can continue my studies at.
I refuse to live this far apart ever again.
11
ASPEN
EARLY APRIL
Senior Year
“Holy fuck, I think I’m going to throw up,” I mutter.
Sage and Arthur exchange worried glances while Sage rubs my back in soothing circles. “They’re all going to love it!” she assures me.
My senior runway showcase is tonight, and I knew that Sarah was coming. She has been the most amazing mentor for the last year, but I had no idea she would be bringing anyone else with her.
I peek my head out the curtain again to confirm what I saw. Sitting front row next to Sarah, is the creative director for Trend magazine, and on her other side is the fashion director of Castle Couture. “What the fuck are they doing here?” I whisper-shout.
“They’re here to see your showcase, duh,” Arthur teases unhelpfully.
“You deserve all the recognition in the world, honey. The show is going to be amazing. This is a good thing!” Sage insists, taking my hands in hers to squeeze tightly.
