“Well… he’s kinda right, you know,” he admits. I scoff at him. I rub the temples on my face, hoping it will calm me down before I scream at him.
“What are you talking about, Arthur. I don’t run away all the time.”
“Yes, you do. The only reason you came here was because of your mum’s passing. You could have stayed and grieved, but you chose to run away. And I think attempting to throw yourself off a roof is the definition of running away, is it not?” He asks, and I bite my tongue. Part of me feels like he’s right.
“You can’t run away this time. I know it’s hard, this crime family sounds like a big deal. But how dare they control who you love or what you do?” He asks, and my blood boils again. He’s right, how dare they? Why do I need to give up the life I made for myself?
“What do they want with you anyway?”
“I don’t know. The threats all saidDon’torLeave. It involved rats, too. Like they were saying, don’t rat us out. I don’t know what they mean, though. Like, don’t tell the police what they did to Mum? They already know the bronze family killed her, but no one knows their real identity,” I explain. My brain hurts from all the thinking. It feels messy, like a splotch of Kai’s paint.
Oh…Kai.
“How about you spend the night at the flat and you can think about what you’re going to do next,” he says. I nod a few times and wipe my tears with the tissue.
“You’re right, I should,” I say, continuously nodding. I smile weakly at him. It’s a start. I just wish I were in Teddy’s arms right now.
“Just, please don’t give up on your life. You need to fight for it sometimes.”
“Thanks, Arthur,” I say, giving him a hug.
“I’m always gonna be here for you, Noah, don’t you forget it.”
“It’sweird having you back here,” Arthur says as we enter our old flat. Being back here is just… strange. I never thought I’d be back too soon.
“Yeah, it’s super weird,” I agree with him. I place my bag down and enter the living room. Arthur rushes behind the couch.
“Fuck, just pretend you never saw this,” he says as he picks up a pair of trousers and a packet of condoms. I begin to laugh to myself as the tension in my shoulders relaxes.
“I guess I don’t need to ask what you’ve been up to while I’ve been gone.”
“Well, seeing as though I don’t need to worry about you hearing me anymore, I may or may not invite guys over from time to time,” he says, chuckling to himself. “Anyway, make yourself at home. I haven’t touched your room, so it’s the way you left it. We can order pizza and chill out a bit. You’ve got a big day tomorrow,” he says while placing his clothes in the wash.
“IfI go back,” I retort, my mind not made up. I don’t want anyone to get hurt, but I also shouldn’t be forced to just give up the life I’ve dreamed of over some stupid crime family. It isn’t fair. They don’t get to decide how I live my life. I’m sick of them ruining everything.
“You need to go back, man. I know it’s hard, but you need to fight this. You can’t go back to the way you were before,” he says before sitting on the couch.
“Aww, so you don’t want me to be your roommate anymore?”
“Stop deflecting, you know exactly what I mean. Don’t you agree?” he asks, and honestly, I physically can’t go back to how I was before. I don’t want to lose myself ever again.
“You’re right,” I tell him, and a smile appears on his face.
“Okay, so go get your comfies on and we’ll order something, okay?” he tells me. I get up and head to my old bedroom. The door is shut.
As I turn the door handle and enter the room, I shiver terribly. It’s almost like a ghost is in here. I turn on my bedside lamp and place my bag on the bed. There are countless bottles of vodka and wine scattered around the floor. Multiple bongs are sitting on my desk, and the room stinks of booze and weed. There’s no character in the room. It just looks like a sad reflection of my inner self during the worst period of my life. It’s filled with so many painful memories of me crying myself to sleep and dreaming of escape.
I don’t want to ever come back here.
I can’t let it get this bad again.
I need to go back.
Tears spring from my eyes as Arthur enters the room.
“You okay?”
“No, I’m really not. I shouldn’t have left. I have to go home, Arthur. This is awful. This room is so sad,” I cry as I put my face into his shoulder. He rubs my back as I cry.
