“Once or twice,” he mutters.
“Asshole,” I mutter back. We stay like this for what feels like a while. I’m so close to him that I can feel his breath on my neck.
“What is it he doesn’t want you to rat him out about?” I ask, my voice soft and calm. The redness of his cheek begins to calm down.
“I don’t even know. I think he just says stuff to give him a reason to torment me,” he says, and part of me doesn’t believe him. I don’t press him on it, though.
“Well, as long as I’m here, he’s not coming back,” I say, my heart threatening to leap out of my chest. I’m not used to feeling this molten anger flow through every vein in my body. When was the last time I cared for someone I hadn’t known for long? It’s barely been a month.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you,” I tell him, trying to comfort him somehow. I’m not sure what I can do to help him, but I know in my heart I would do anything.
“Since when were you so protective?” He asks, and I freeze. I give him the cloth to finish off by himself. Angel wings and my bare flesh appear in my mind again. I can’t get those nightmares out of my mind. Every time I feel myself getting closer to him, something in me puts a wall up.
I can’t keep letting that monster control me.
“I didn’t say you had to stop,” he says, looking into my eyes. His eyes are glassy, like part of him wants to cry. He looks sovulnerable like this. This is a side of him I haven’t seen yet, but it’s also a side I don’t want to see ever again, if I can help it.
“You’re cheek’s starting to calm down,” I tell him, rubbing my thumb on his cheek in a circle. We’re so close. Our breaths reach each other’s skin in a way that makes my heart melt and my brain shut down. His lips look so soft. Should I kiss him? Is now the right time? Probably not.
“Kiss me,” he whispers. My heart skips a beat. I’ve never wanted anything more. I don’t want to get hurt again. But maybe… maybe it won’t be like that. Maybe this time things will be different.
Teddy isn’t Jonathan. I need to stop acting like he is.
Fuck it.
I slowly lean forward as we close our eyes. His breath reaches my face. We inch closer and closer to impact. And then we?—
“Hey, I have a question,” Elijah interrupts, opening the door loudly. We jerk back from one another.
“Wait, what did I just walk in on?” He asks, a small laugh escaping him.
“Nothing,” I tell him quickly. He’s not convinced.
“Well, I was going to ask if you guys wanted to go to Flambards at the weekend? Might be good to get out of here for the day.”
The theme park? I haven’t been there in years.
“It was my idea,” Cat says, peering behind him. She looks at us both and raises an eyebrow.
“You better not be doing anything gay in here,” she says, smiling at us. The two in the doorway give each other a look, like they’re trying to communicate telepathically.
“Not now we’re not,” Teddy says, squeezing my shoulder as he gets up. He places the washcloth in the sink and begins to head out.
“You coming?” Teddy asks, looking back.
“Definitely,” I tell him, following him out of the office.
On my way home from work, I pass the window of Kai’s flat and notice Demi and Harry inside. They’re talking to Kai about something that I can’t make out. Demi is bug-eyed and pointing at Kai, while Harry just sits there with his head in his hands. I crack open the door quietly.
“There’s no way you’re actually considering telling him,” Demi shouts. Kai’s arms are folded over, and he’s looking at the ground.
“Mum, we tell each other everything. I don’t think he would judge me given the circumstances,” Kai explains, looking at his mum now. Demi’s eyes are wide and her face is red. There are a few sounds of disbelief that escape her throat as she thinks of something else to say.
“You don’t think he would judge you? Baby, you don’t know how a person will react to that sort of information,” she tells him, attempting to touch his shoulder, but he shrugs her off. He lights a cigarette in front of her and Demi just shuts down. She slumps down next to Harry.
“I don’t know what to do with you,” Demi sighs, leaning back on the chair. I take this chance to enter the flat, placing my bag next to the shoe rack.
“Oh, hey guys. I didn’t know you were all here,” I tell the room, smiling at them. Kai doesn’t look in my direction; he continues to smoke his cigarette in the kitchen.
