“And I’m not going to take that for granted.”
“You know, they say sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to get where you need to be,” Demi says, making me stop in the sand, unable to move.
“I have a surprise for you,” she says. I imagine she’s smiling right now. “If you have time, give Sunset Cliffss a visit. You’ll know why when you see it.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll go there now. Thanks, Demi,” I say, glancing up at the staircase leading up there.
“I’ll let you go, son, but before I do, I need you to do something for me.”
“Anything,” I reply. I would do anything for her. Demi was always so welcoming, and she treated me like family. I love her for that.
“Can you keep an eye on Kai for me?”
“Yeah, of course, but why?”
“Just… make sure he’s alright,’ she tells me, her voice small. I don’t know why she would ask that in such a way. Of course, I’m going to make sure he’s okay. Unless there’s something going on I’m not aware of..
“Okay, I will. Love you,” I say.
“Love you too.”
I slip my phone into my bag that Kai’s currently holding, while he gives me a puzzled look.
“Was that my Mum?”
“Yeah… she wanted to ask how I was. And asked me to make sure you were okay?” I say. Several moments pass before I continue. “I didn’t even know she still had my number. I’m not sure why she didn’t just phone you,” I laugh. But Kai isn’t laughing. He fidgets with his rings.
“Well, we don’t talk much anymore,” he reveals.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t?—”
“Don’t worry about it.” We stand there for a moment, not knowing what to say. I want to ask about what’s going on, but Kai’s never been one for talking about how he feels.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, looking at him, but he turns away.
“Maybe later.”
We make our way up the stairs to Sunset Cliffs. There are massive blocks of stone used as stairs. Then there’s a winding hill to get to the top.
I’m tired and sweating as we get to the top, but it’s so worth it. This was my mother’s favourite view, a cliff overlooking a quaint stretch of golden sand and turquoise sea. ‘Golden sand and turquoise sea’ isn’t something most people imagine when it comes to beaches in the UK. But that’s Cornwall for you. Beats all expectations.
Complex and dangerous cliffs line the beach and are at least three houses high. I’ve always admired how something so dangerous can be both beautiful and terrifying at the same time. I always thought that if I were ever going to kill myself, it would be here. I think a part of me didn’t think I’d make it past eighteen, but here I am. That’s probably why I have no life plan, because I didn’t see the point in planning something I wouldn’t live to see.
My Mother and I used to walk to Sunset Cliffs every evening. It gets its name because it’s the perfect spot to watch a sunset. We spent many nights here, just watching that great big ball of fire slowly fall, while families and couples watched it too.
I spot the surprise immediately. A bench resides at our usual spot next to a little sand dune. It’s a solid oak bench with a silver plaque in the centre of the backrest. It says:
In Memory of Isabelle Wright
A Golden Whirlwind of Life
R.I.P
Seeing the plaque makes me fall to my knees. My eyes swell up quickly, and hot tears burn my cheeks.
“I just… wasn’t expecting this, I’m sorry,” I cry before Kai kneels down next to me. He doesn’t say anything, he just rubs my back in soothing circles.
Mum is gone. She’s not coming back.
