“Yeah, Auralea is a real shithole compared to here. She was exhausted; her sponsor worked her too hard.”
“Not just that,” I hand out the glasses before sitting cross-legged on the ground, “but all of it. The challenges, the lack of power. The way they treat us is as if we are disposable.”
Lenny chimes in from where he’s perched on the edge of the sofa, Celeste giving him little room as she spreads herself across the entire seat. “I get it, Zellie, I do. But you need to be careful. These are the Kosmos we’re talking about. I’ve never had a family, but this is what I would imagine one would feel like. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
My throat is thick with emotion. “You’re my family too, Len. I love you both.”
“This is entirely too much emotion for me,” Celeste chimes in. “I, for one, think your cause is honorable. I will support you from afar.”
“I would never ask you to get involved.”
“Like Leo?”
My smile falters. “What do you mean, ‘like Leo’?”
She throws her hands behind her head and shrugs. “All I’m saying is I don’t think it's a coincidence that he, too, has been missing from training.” There’s that feeling again: butterflies. He’s supporting me, believing in what we’re doing. Leo’s invested in making a change together.
Lenny, so wise and knowing at the ripe age of sixteen and a half, adds, “Just because our goals aren’t perfectly aligned with yours doesn’t mean wearen’t here for you. For us, I don’t think there is a right or wrong action in this situation.”
Celeste raises her water glass. “Well said, Len.”
I can’t judge them for getting through and focusing on survival. Just like I can’t blame myself for doing what I can to protect my family.
Thirty-one
Later that night, when the world is asleep, I knock on Leo’s door. He answers almost immediately, as if he were expecting me.
“Been busy, have you?”
His cocky grin is his response. He’s so fucking infuriating. I can’t get enough. He loops his arm around my waist, pulling me to his body in one swoop. “I may have had a few days of self-care.”
“Sounds like time wasted that youcouldhave spent with me.” Leo pushes my body against the wall, using his other hand to close the door. His kiss is greedy, leaving me breathless. I reluctantly break the contact. “I didn’t know you were also not showing up.”
“It’s a noble effort. One that I believe in.” He kisses me once more. “All this time alone has left me with some pent-up energy.”
“You poor thing,” I mock.
He runs his nose up the length of my neck and nips the shell of my ear. Every nerve ending is firing, and my entire body is tingling. He leans in close, whispering, “We should spar again.” Wait, what?
“That’s not where I thought this was going.”
Leo laughs heartily, the sound like music to my ears. I can’t help but smile at his genuine happiness.
“Andwhyexactly are we sparring?”
“Because it’s an excellent skill to have? Because I’m fucking bored without the physical activity?”
Because who knows how long we can last in our refusal to take part before something happens. “Fine, but I’m not taking it easy on you.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart.”
We silently make our way to the training grounds. Being here now feels peculiar, like I’m doing something wrong, and I try to shake the feeling. The city is aglow in the backdrop, crystalline towers lit in pastels. Meanwhile, on the fields, the moon is our only light. Brightly lit tonight, Leo and I are bathed in silver as we circle each other.
“Make a move, Toro.”
I relax my posture but remain at the ready by clenching my hands, protecting my thumbs, and bouncing from foot to foot as I calculate my first strike. I lash out, jabbing at Leo’s side. He’s faster than I am and blocks while simultaneously tugging my braids. “Too slow.”
“You’re a fucking menace.” I go in for an uppercut, and he blocks. He jabs, I block. We dance. The motion is fluid; there’s a certain beauty to our bodies mirroring each other, breathing synced, anticipating his thoughts. I feel my trust expanding, my boundaries moving to make room for Leo. He won’t hurt me, not like this.
