Chapter 19
Afaint light from outside woke Jana. She listened for Imani’s slow breathing, telling her that her daughter was still sleeping soundly. Jana looked through the clear window on the tent door. The subtlest orange color had started painting the sky. Jana turned and propped herself up to watch the sunrise.
The sun wasn’t hitting all the plains yet; most of the trees and hills were still darkened. But as she watched, the orange glow slowly illuminated the landscape. The clouds shifted from pale to brighter shades. Soon, dappled rays of red and purple started painting the vast terrain in front of the hills, bringing it out of its shadowed slumber. Were there animals out there taking this in, too? Maybe an elephant mama, lying near her baby, smiling to herself as the warm sun roused her from sleep?
The beauty on this trip had exceeded Jana’s wildest expectations. The elephants, the baobab trees, the glorious panoramas. Even with all the frustrations, awkwardness, arguments, and feeling like an outsider, at this moment, Jana felt…whole. And assuming Imani next to her was fine, she felt content.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Anil said next to her.
Jana chuckled softly. Of course, she hadn’t forgotten that she’d fallen asleep in his bed last night. Literally in his arms, which had probably been a mistake. But with the glorious Tanzanian sunrise in front of her, it was hard to feel regret about anything.
But she didn’t exactly want to turn around to face him, either. It wasn’t dark in the tent anymore. She didn’t want the intimacy of seeing Anil’s face before he put on his good-natured mask. Now he would have pillow creases and warm, sleepy eyes, and the private expression that was still burned into her memory from their past.
What would he see in her face? The grumpy mother of his child? Or would he think the fact that Jana slept in his arms meant she wanted this relationship to bemoreagain?
“It’s the most beautiful sunrise I’ve ever seen,” Jana said. “Imani slept all night. She’s still out.”
“She’s probably okay, then,” he said. “When she had that stomach bug last year, she was up every twenty minutes.”
Jana had only heard about the stomach bug after the fact since Anil had Imani then. She watched their daughter’s sleeping face for a few seconds, then looked back out the window. The colors seemed to swirl in the sky even more now. She could feel the cool nip lessening as the sun’s rays warmed the air.
She should get up. Sneak back to Mom’s tent and take a shower. Did she still need an armed guard now that it was daylight?
“Don’t leave yet,” Anil said quietly.
“How did you know I wanted to go?”
“Because you’re you. Stay and enjoy this sunrise with me. Just the three of us right now, okay?” He put his hand on her arm, and she felt the warm weight of it down through her toes. She rolled over to look at him.
He wasright here. Next to her, under the same sheet as her. And it felt so…familiar. And normal.
She knew what he meant.Just them. A little family on holiday, like they were normal, functional, andtogether. Happy. Without all the baggage, lawyers’ agreements, resentment, hurt feelings, and everything that Jana wouldn’t let go of. Just them.
He was close enough that she could feel his breath against her cheek. His eyes were slightly hooded, but long lashes fluttered as he blinked. His jaw was scruffy again. His expression was soft. Kind.
Sexy.
They stared at each other for several long seconds, neither of them making a move. This time, it was clearer than that day in the Ngorongoro hotel—hewasgoing to kiss her. Ignoring the chemistry between them was like ignoring a tornado right in front of her face. His hand on her arm moved slightly, fingertips barely brushing against her sensitive skin.
“Jana,” he whispered.
Jana shook her head. She couldn’t get caught in a moment with Imani next to her. Letting loose was apparently chipping away her sense of self-preservation.
She turned away from him and propped herself up on the bed to watch the sunrise over the East African plains. She couldn’t get sucked in by Anil’s charms again. No matter how much part of her wanted it, no matter how comforting andrightit felt now. The risks were too big—she couldn’t let herself get hurt all over again. And this time, Imani could get hurt, too.
But this, watching the sunrise together, was okay. It didn’t scare her. And it also felt right.
***
Imani woke up energetic, giggling, and seemingly fine. She was utterly delighted that both her parents were with her, and she didn’t appear to have any memory of throwing up the night before. Or her emotional breakdown because of it.
“Your tummy isn’t hurting anymore?” Jana asked as she came out of the bathroom and looked for her sandals. She needed to get back to Mom’s tent to shower and change for breakfast.
That reminded Imani of what had happened the night before. “Daddy!” she squealed with the same voice she used when she saw a giraffe. “Remember when I throwed up? You told me that lions can’t smell puke so they won’t eat us!”
Jana raised a brow at Anil.
“I was trying to ease her anxiety,” he said.
