“Okay, fine. I’ll message Daniel if you agree to go out with Owen. Like a real date. Not as friends. Deal?”
Cass frowned at me for several long moments, then shockingly, they nodded. “Fine.”
I chuckled. That was too easy. Apparently, Cass had wanted that little push.
That evening, I wrote to Daniel.
Daniel,
I know you said that we could someday be friends again, and it’s only been a few days so this might be way too soon for that. But it still feels like we are friends. I guess it’s hard for me to turn off my feelings. If you never want to hear from me again, tell me now and I’ll be gone forever. Or tell me it’s not someday, yet. Or you can ignore me, and I won’t hate you for that. I don’t think I could ever hate you, anyway.
You’re right that I could never understand what it’s like to be you, and I shouldn’t judge your choices without walking in your shoes. I don’t want to be the friend who doesn’t let you do what you know isbest for you. I would rather be the friend who you go to when things are amazing, and when you want to play games, or go to a dance, or make pies. Or be the friend you come to when things are hard, and you want a shoulder to lean on without judgment. I wish I could be that friend for you.
I’m rambling. I’ve had an intense, stressful, hard, and good couple of days since I saw you, and I can’t seem to think straight. Really the reason I’m writing this is to tell you two things.
First, I started my own game-dev team without Jayden and his crew. We’re doing Yasmin’s Forest Fairy game, and I’m totally going to credit her as inspiration. The new team is amazing and collaborative, and joyful, and it’s so exciting and I hated that I couldn’t tell you about it.
And second, I wanted to thank you. I’m going to get real and talk about you and me and feelings, now, so if you don’t want to hear it, stop reading.
I’m not sure you’re fully aware of how confused and messy my life was when we met. I had been Devin’s girlfriend for so long I didn’t know how to be anything else. And I think I was scared that I didn’t have much value outside that identity. But you liked me for me—not for my grades, or my parents’ status, or for who my friends were. You made me realize that what’s really important is being true to my real friends, seeing people for who they are, not whatthey are, and helping people who need it ... no matter why they need it. And that it only mattered what the people I cared about thought of me, not anyone else. I figured out so much about me, and even though I miss you ... like, really, really miss you, I wanted to tell you that I’m pretty proud of me. I wanted to share that good news with my friend.
I know I wasn’t as helpful to you as you were to me, and I’m really sorry for that. But I know you, and I know that helping people means a lot to you, so I thought you might want to know how much you helped me.
I won’t ever forget you.
Samaya
I sent the email. And by the time I went to bed, I didn’t have a response. Which, fair. I myself said he didn’t have to write back.
I did hold out hope that one day he would, though.
30
The Belle of the Ball
Did you go and get yourself another date for the dance without telling me?”
Tahira had poked her head into my room Saturday afternoon while I was on my computer trying to fix the fairy-wing problem in the game’s code.
I stared at her and frowned. “No. I’m not going. Why?”
“There is a very tall red-haired boy with glasses downstairs. He’s wearing a tie and holding one of those flower boxes you get from the florist. Handsome dude. Do you think he’d model streetwear for me?”
I only knew one tall redheaded boy. “Owen? What did he say?”
“Nothing. He asked for you, so I came to get you.”
I rushed past Tahira and headed downstairs.
The moment I saw him, I understood why Tahira wanted him to model her designs. He cleaned up nice. Wearing a slim blue suit, a pale pink dress shirt, and a blue tie, with his bright hair slicked down instead of flopping over one eye, he looked perfectly nerdy-cool.
“Owen. What are you doing here?”
“Um, I’m here to drive you and Cass to your dance? I know I’m early. I was expecting a big line at the florist because of the dance.But no one was there. Do people not give flowers to dates for dances anymore? My dad said this was what Cass would expect.” He tilted his head. “Is that what you’re wearing?”
I looked down at my leggings and myWHICH CAME FIRST,THEDRAGON OR THEEGG?sweatshirt. It wasn’t my favorite. And no, this wasn’t what I would wear to the school dance. Because I wasn’t going.
Clearly something was going on here.
