“Ahh.” From what I’d gleaned from Jules in the short time I’d known her, I couldn’t imagine her in a RV. She’d want far more stability than that. Sounded like both of us had parents completely different than we were, though not in the same way.
“Yeah, it’s a good life for them, and I think retirement is the happiest I’ve seen them, which is saying something. I wish I got to see them more or that when I did see them wasn’t time there and gone in a flash, but it is what it is,” she said, her voice trailing off a bit at the end as she stared out the window into the dark.
I didn’t want to interrupt her thoughts, so I concentrated on the road and the quiet music filling the car.
Within a few minutes, Jules’s head dropped and I looked over to see that she had drifted off. I wished we were stopped so I could watch her sleep, though that sounded positively creepy. When she was awake, she often had a little wrinkle of concern between her brows, but in sleep it was gone. My hands itched to smooth that spot often, and I wished for a day where she wouldn’t have whatever her stressors were on a daily basis.
For the next three hours I felt comfort from Jules’s mere presence next to me with her adorable light snore, which I would never mention. Not being alone allowed the memories to come and not feel quite so painful. As scenes from childhood flitted through my mind, I wished I could say I saw at least a time or two where my parents had clearly cared for me, allowing me to find a small comfort in what was bound to be a hard night,but I didn’t. Instead, I saw my upbringing for what it was—an inconvenience to them as I tried my hardest to make them happy but failed miserably every time. The one lesson they’d left me with was to ensure I didn’t parent in any way like them.
Finally I exited Interstate 90 for our final ten miles to the hospital and began to wonder when I should wake Jules. I knew she’d be pissed that she’d slept through the drive, but it had been a gift. Unwittingly, she’d allowed me to begin the grieving process, such as it would be, before I even knew if it would be needed. However, in one way or another I’d been mourning our relationship for years.
As I did my final turn in to the parking lot for the emergency department, Jules started when the sound of a siren permeated even our peaceful bubble. She sat up, looked around, glanced at the time, and gasped. “Oh, Noah, I’m so sorry.”
I pulled into a spot and put the car in park, undoing my seat belt as I turned to face Jules. I grabbed her hands, which were, of course, flailing as she murmured to herself, negative words about how could she have possibly fallen asleep on the job. It was adorable.
“Kitten,” I began before she interrupted me.
“Three times,” she murmured, though I’m not certain if she was speaking to me or herself.
“Three times what?” I asked because I had to know.
She looked at me in alarm. That told me she wasn’t aware she had said that aloud. That was even better.
“Umm, three times you’ve called me kitten.” She worried her lower lip between her teeth like she was uncertain what I’d think about that.
I leaned forward to kiss her nose. “That’s because you are my ferocious little kitten. And I love that you thought you needed to be awake the whole way up to ‘be here’ for me, but honestly,just having you by my side was the comfort I hadn’t realized I needed. So thank you for that.”
She sat back, clearly more relaxed at my words, then turned toward the hospital. “Should we go?”
I nodded but didn’t move. Finally I looked her way. “This is like Pandora’s box, you know?”
Jules’s gaze was warm and understanding in the parking lot lights. She reached for my hand once again. “I’m here for whatever you want to do.”
I took a deep breath and said, “Let’s go.”
Chapter 15
Going Home
Jules
I absolutely was livid with myself for falling asleep on the ride up to Madison regardless of Noah’s words that just the fact that I was next to him provided comfort. That seemed like a bunch of baloney, but now was not the time to press him on that. Instead, I held his hand while we walked through the automatic doors into the emergency room.
The bright lights were a harsh transition from the dark night outside. For an emergency room, it wasn’t too chaotic. There was an information desk in front of us, a waiting room to the side with people in various states of alertness lining the chairs. As I scanned the room, I noted a couple who were my parents age, wearing a gorgeous dress and a tux. Call it a wild guess, but I’d put some money on them being Ivy’s parents.
Sure enough, Noah headed straight for them. The woman had her head on the man’s shoulder and had been dozing, but he noted Noah and jostled her awake. They both stood before we reached them.
“Mr. and Mrs. James,” Noah began.
“Noah,” Mr. James said, holding his hand out, and Noah shook it.
It was all so formal. I didn’t even know where to begin with this. Lord knows that if the situation were reversed, any friend of my parents—much less Lou or Verdell—would have immediately pulled me in for a hug. Maybe these people weren’t the hugging type? I decided to just blend into the background because they didn’t seem to be concerned with who I was. However, that wasn’t Noah’s style.
“As I was saying, Mr. and Mrs. James, this is my friend, Jules. Jules, this is Ivy’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. James.”
I started to put my hand out but was cut off.
“I’d say it was nice to meet you, but the circumstances are horrid,” Mr. James said, his voice laced with impatience. “Now Noah, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I didn’t want you to hear it from some random ER employee. As we all expected, your parents didn’t make it. They passed from complications of the accident about an hour ago. I told the person at the desk that you’d be here soon, but I had Barry at the law firm your dad and I use send over their wills and advance directives in case any of that was needed. You’ll need to talk with the doctor to see what your next steps are and can consult with Barry tomorrow, considering the lateness of the hour.”
