Disappointment fills me to the brim. I can feel myself getting worse with every minute, and I know I’m not supposed to make any big decisions in the dreaded heat recovery.
But that’s exactly what I do.
All the doubts and reservations that were haunting me before the heat are returning now with vengeance, slamming into me like a battering ram.
I climb up the ladder and enter my room. I open my laptop and check flights… to Iceland.
My fingers shake, my body is tired, but one thing is clear.
Snow is not my True Mate.
My fated one is out there somewhere, and I need to find him. My parents are TMs and I’ve seen how perfect that bond is. I need that. I need someone who can piece me back together.
It breaks my heart, because I truly believed it was Snow. I suppose his whole family believed it too. But staying here would only mean more suffering for me.
Watching his brothers one by one find their True Mates, knowing that we would always be seen as the ‘imperfect couple’. His parents might look at us and think,"Snow glued himself to this omega when his real perfect mate could still be out there."
My brothers would think the same. Ragnar and Moon found their fated matches. They’d look at me with silent pity while their lives are full and happy, and mine isn’t. That shadow of imperfection would hang over me and Snow forever.
Maybe jealousy plays a part too, that ugly envy of everyone else getting what I want so badly.
I remember the prophecy Moon gave me:
"Follow Sun, and you will find happiness."
And Sun went to Iceland with Ragnar. Moon didn’t sayfollow the snow.
I have to give this a chance. I have to try to rebuild my life. I’m grateful to the Nolans for everything, but this is where our paths split. I won’t keep abusing their hospitality.
Tears stream down my face.
Fuck… I really liked him. He’s a sorcerer, just like me. A hylomancer and a rheomancer, what a pair. And we understoodeach other so well. I press my hands to my face and a sob breaks out of my chest.
Why can’t it behim?
We would be such a perfect couple, two mages with complementary powers who… never planned to do anything with that power anyway. Almost cute. It makes me laugh through my tears. And yet, it was something that connected us. Another thread. Even though he isn’t talkative, I could feel under the surface that we’d always get along.
And he’s so fucking attractive. Exactly my type.
And the sex… pure heaven.
But my fingers don’t stop. They keep clicking, and I find a flight to Reykjavík… tonight at eleven. What luck!
It’s three in the afternoon. I check availability, and, miracle, miracle, there’s one seat left. I grab it fast, adrenaline rushing through me. The decision is made.
But then…
Doubt claws at me. My body resists. What the hell am I doing? I know damn well I shouldn’t decide anything during heat recovery. Everyone says it:nevermake decisions in the crash, don’t do anything impulsive.
You feel like shit, you are not yourself!
Every omega learns that from the day we find out what we are. And it’s true. Because in this state, the world looks way darker than it really is.
But stubborn little me doesn’t care. I dig out an old backpack from the bottom drawer, I think it once belonged to Nathaniel. I throw in the essentials for the trip.
Then I take a shower to wash off the last traces of heat and… Snow’s scent. That’s the past now. I change, sling the backpack over my shoulder, and call an Uber.
It’ll be here in four minutes.
