“You do?”
“Yeah.”
I slowly inhaled a deep breath.
“Where is this going, Austin?” I asked, not feeling bold or brave as the question came out.
“I think you know, Ford.”
“Sometimes, I feel like I know where your head’s at, but sometimes I’m unsure, and I worry…” This was it. Time to get everything out in the open. Time to speak all the feelings. Time to figure out if we were on the same page or not.
He shifted his weight and straddled me in a blink of an eye. His hands pressed into the mattress beside my head, and his head hung inches above mine.
I ran my hands from the back of his thighs and over the curve of his ass, finally letting them settle on his hips. I held him, fingers threatening to dig into his flesh because I was half afraid he’d be gone with another blink of my eyes.
“I may not know everything about you,” he said, voice deep but soft. “But you’ve got me, Agent.”
I scoffed and opened my mouth to remind him that I was no longer an agent and I was nearly positive I’d never be again.
He stopped my words with a hard, quick kiss.
“You’re good. You’re amazing. You’re…” He paused as if he needed a moment to think of the perfect word. “Mine.”
“I’m yours?” I asked, pushing down the urge to laugh.
“Yep,” he said, popping thep. “You’re mine. I haven’t ever felt this way about someone. I don’t know if I will again, but I also don’t care if it’s possible. You are the first person to want to know who I am without having an agenda behind it. Without looking at me like I’m a monster like my father. Without this judgment in the back of your head. You didn’t ask. You were just there, waiting for me to tell you what I needed to say… to get it out. And maybe some people would say that I’m clinging to you because of that release and the comfort you gave me while purging it, but I’m going to say fuck that shit. I don’t think so, and if it is, I don’t fucking care.”
He paused, his hard swallow audible in the silent room. I gave his hips a comforting squeeze to let him know I was there and he was safe.
“See, shit like that,” he said. His voice sounded thick and wet like he was on the verge of crying. “You know what I need, and you know that most of the time the last thing I need is words. You give that to me and I’m sure you don’t even think about it when you do it.”
He was right, I didn’t. I justdidmost of the time because that was what I felt.
“I’m crazy about you, Ford. Tell me you’re crazy about me. Tell me I’m not alone. Tell me there is more for us. Please. And if you don’t feel the same, all I ask is that you’re kind when you walk away from me.”
He sucked in a shuddering breath.
“Oh, honey,” I said. I released his hips and brought my hand up to grab his cheeks. My thumbs ran under his eyes, feeling that it was damp like I’d suspected.
“I don’t need you to love me today or tomorrow or the next day,” he said before I could get another word out. “I just need to know that you can see yourself loving me.”
“I do,” I rasped. I was the choked-up one now. “I do see myself loving you. Now, tomorrow, a year from now. You say I’ve done so much for you, but I don’t think you realize what you’ve done for me. You’ve opened me up in ways I didn’t know I was closed.”
I kissed him softly. I held him close. I showed him that I wasn’t going to let him go.
“I don’t think I could walk away from you if I tried,” I told him as I kissed his tears away.
I held his face to mine and kissed him hard. His hands roamed my body. His touch was soft, his movements were slow. They said we had all the time in the world. And I guess we kind of did. There was no rush now that we’d said we were both in this. No deadline looming in the background. No final touch as long as we both stayed on the same page.
Which was something I wasn’t worried about.
Austin had proved to me that he could be open and honest. I knew it took time and communication to keep a relationship going strong. I thought if two people could make it work, it would be us. Plus, these feelings were deep. The kind you’d have to cut out if you wanted to walk away.
I sure as hell wasn’t going to turn my back on this.
I didn’t think Austin would either.
“Say it,” he urged me as if he knew it was right there on the tip of my tongue, ready to slip out the moment I knew he was ready to hear them.
