“Well, then,” Reed said with a knowing smirk on his face. Again, I felt heat hit my cheeks. “Let me show you to your shared room.”
He laughed as he turned and headed further into the condo. Austin flashed a proud smile before dragging me after Reed. I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up.
Reed left us at the entrance to his guest bedroom, which had a huge bed and more than enough space to move around in. Oh, and an en suite bathroom.
I shut the door and moved our new luggage full of all new clothes, thanks to Reed and the team, to the corner of the room for now.
“You know, I’ve noticed that your accent gets thick when you’re pissed,” I said, pulling Austin into my arms.
“Yeah, well, sometimes it slips out.” He didn’t look too happy about it.
“You also get real country boy when you’re tired.” I leaned in and put my lips next to his ear before adding, “And when you’re horny.”
He snorted.
“Somethin’ you think you could get used to?” he asked as his hand curled around the back of my neck and he threaded his fingers through my hair.
“Not something I’d have to get used to,” I replied back. “Something I already love.”
He went still. I imagine it was at the very last word that left my lips.
Love.
It was a big word, but used often enough to where it could have been brushed off. We’d skated close to it before, but it had never felt right.
Truth be told, it was hard not to fall for him. I think I’d been falling since the moment he picked me up. Once he showed me the person he kept behind his walls, I was already halfway there. So maybe I was seventy-five percent there now. Or ninety-eight percent.
I pulled back just enough to kiss his cheek, and then I whispered, “Let’s take a shower.”
I never thought of myself as a coward before, but I felt like one now. I was scared he’d reject me. Scared he’d tell me this was just for fun. Scared he’d… run from me. So, who could really blame me for holding on to what I had with Austin a little longer?
We showered in silence. It wasn’t painful or awkward, but the air did tingle with a sense of something big on the horizon.
His hands glided over my skin, leaving a trail of bubbles in their wake. Once he had his fill of cleaning me, I took my turn, kissing every inch of his skin I could reach once the soap had washed away.
We crawled into bed naked, still damp and warm from the shower.
That was when it all came crashing down on me. I guess I’d been pushing it away for too long and now it was finally pushingback. We didn’t have Lipton, but I believed we were close. I felt like I could finally breathe for the first time in nearly two weeks. Not a deep breath, but it was enough to make my body feel like it wasn’t about to suffocate. But it was all still there, the shit show my life had become. The uncertainty of the future. Not knowing when this would be over. I felt the panic of it clawing at my back.
Austin curled up at my side and put his head on my chest. His hand pressed over my heart, and I knew he could feel it beating strongly.
“What do you need?” he asked softly as if he sensed I was seconds away from crumbling.
How the fuck did he justknow?
If there was ever a time I felt like uncontrollably crying, this was it. And I didn’t even hate it.
“I don’t know,” I answered him honestly. “I’ve never had anyone… I don’t know what it’s like to have someone here for me when I’m like this.”
He scooted closer, throwing a leg over my hip and holding me tight.
“I’ve never been there for someone… like this,” he said. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
I huffed out a soft laugh and though I couldn’t really see his face, I just knew he was smiling.
“Aren’t we a mess, huh?” I whispered.
“I don’t know,” he said with a small shrug that I felt more than saw, “I think we’re kinda perfect.”
